A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been on and off (mostly off) with a girl for about 10 years and we are still good friends. We hang out still and occasionally are intimate. I am still very turned on by her and when I masturbate, I normally I look at her pictures. When I was not with her she was mostly in relationships with other women and she feels that she is a lesbian. She says that I am the only guy she has been with since we met but I doubt it. She is not the type to sleep around but like any normal female she has desires. Plus there have been times that I believe that she was having sex with other men. That occurred when we were not together and it is her own right, but she denied it thinking that I would be hurt. At the time I probably would have felt hurt. Now I do not have that "love" feeling and only that "sexual" feeling for her. One time I was masturbating and I thought about her having sex with the few guys I believed she was with. I was picturing what she looked like then and I got really turned on. The thought of her doing it was so arousing that I used that as a fantasy for masturbation. I finally asked her to tell me about her sex history when we were messing around and almost thought she was going to talk but she didn't. I think that she still thinks I may be upset but actually I am so interested in hearing. I don’t want her whole life’s story but just some facts. The thought of hearing her tell me about getting laid is so arousing. Is this some type of fetish or am I totally crazy? How can I ask her the next time we are messing around to not make her mad, have her realize that it is a fun fetish for me and that I am truly interested, and get the real story?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): First, she's going to have to TRUST you 100% before she even opens that door, and if she suspects that at any future point you could become hurt and angry is likely to choose to keep this private information private.
IF you want to have her tell you an eroitc story while you two are playing try that... if she draws on personal experience for the story line that's her choice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): Frankly, her other relationships are none of your business unless she volunteers the information. This is a private matter, and she may feel uncomfortable, particularly since she is bi-sexual.
Plus, you have no real interest in her as a person anymore.
You said you are only interested in sex. Respect her privacy.
If she told you, you most likely would get mad anyway.
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