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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have got myself into a bit of a state over a guy once again. My long story cut short goes like this...Christmas 2010 a guy from college started talking to me out of the blue, i went along with it, we got along well, we only ever spoke during text for the whole of the holidays but he was constantly texting me. No one had ever been like that with me before.. we got back to college and he started hanging around with my group, basically finding excuses to be around me, i took this all in my stride trying not to get to attatched incase it went wrong like it usually does.. it was my birthday in february and he was with me around college all of the time, making the first step to hold my hand. All of my social group started to think we were going to 'get together' although we werent seeing each other it did effect our friendship when i found out he had kissed another girl at a recent party. From then our friendship dwindled.. until suddenly it got back on track, i forgot what he did as it wasnt like we were actually seeing each other. Time passed and i met up with him alone for the first time, i started to fall for him.. fast. He never made me do anything i didnt want to but he had something about him that made being involved with him exciting. We met up again this was about april time, he always left it months until we met up or something i dont know why, after a few more meetings i had fell for him, good and proper, my life seemed to fit together by his next text or meet up. In june we slept together. It was my first time and i dont regret it. I just wish things were different. What i have failed to mention throughout this message is how hot and cold he was, how everything must be his way, how he was the one in control, how i hung of every move he made, how he messed up my head and my heart. I'd never say i loved him. And i do not regret anything that i had done with him i just wish he cared too. Now he is completely ignoring me. Harsh in texts, thats if i even get a reply! I dont mean to be but i guess i come across terribly needy. Im trying so hard to forget him and move on but a small part of me doesnt want to. I basically end up in tears with the thought of never meeting up with him like 'old times'. I can never get him out of my head, literally driving myself in pain. Right now i am my own worst enemy. Recently out of the blue ive had interest coming in from other guys, my friends are telling me to forget my previous guy (who i was never dating by the way) saying i could do way much better than him and that i should meet up with these other guys and give them a chance, as much as i want to im scared that they will never be 'that guy'. i feel unbelievably lost, and the thought of going to college and all the new girls that will be joining and him being all over them is making me physically sick. Please any advice would be appreciated greatly!Thank you.
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female
reader, RebbieHoneybee  +, writes (22 July 2011):
well, im glad i helped in some way :) Im the one with the long answer :D and you can call me Rebbie :) I hope you'll get over him and i understand very well you want to see him hurt as much as he hurt you. But karma hits everyone eventually. He's not gonna get far in life, but YOU, you have possibilities and always remember that decent girls mostly atract decent boys :) Dont beat yourself up :) and dont worry, your reaction is normal in every way, shape or form! Wishing you the best of luck and remember to be around positive things and the "reminders" that seem to follow you around will lose their meaning once you get over him :)
God bless you! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your answers. Obviously it hurts to know that he only wanted to sleep with me but i guess the truth is ugly. I completely understand that he isn't worth it! I'm just having such a hard time getting past this. It seems to be everywhere i turn something reminds me of 'us'.
I'm sorry i don't know your name but the replier with the long answer! thank you for your advice i'll be sure to follow it, going out and meeting up with my girls is hard though seeing as nothing is ever free! If im honest im going down the childish route where i want to see him hurt as much as he hurt me.. safe to say i learn't a lot from the experience and i won't be going down a road like that again! Thanks again for your answers!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): Hey girl :)like the first comment: it sounds to me like he just wanted to sleep with you. Its true that a new love CAN mend your broken heart. Its difficult, i know it is. AND IT IS GOOOOD THAT YOU DONT REGRET ANYTHING. But sincerely hunni, its time to move on. I had a bf before who also dominated me, made me dump my best friends, got angry if i replied too late to his msg's... and so much more. Its only a matter of time before you actually start to realise that this guy ISNT worth it. But to speed it up and to make yourself feel better, what you need to do is maintain your natural lifestyle. First thing to do is: eating healthy and regularly and normally, with an occasional pizza in between :P Go out with friends, do makeovers, sleepovers, you need to celebrate the fact that you're a lovely young girl and that you dont deserve to be down because of a guy like that (even though you love him, trust me, i feel your pain), but you're a great person! :) and i bet you're pretty as well, so just have a photoshoot, go down to the park, breathe the fresh air and skip to the next chapter :) You may think right now: easily said, but how do i do that? The trick is to think: i deserve to smile, and i wont let him bring me down any longer :) YOU DESERVE TO SMILE! :)Do you know the song: I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor? Listen to that and believe every word she sings :) I listened to it after a "bad romance" i had and it cheered me up :) OH! and a vital part: try to avoid romantic/sad/depressing movies or songs. Watch comedies instead :) But if you need to cry, then go ahead and do so. Do what you need to do and move on. But remember you deserve to be happy :) Sorry, this answer's long xP I hope i helped somehow and i will definitely be back to check how you're doing :) Best of luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): what if they turn out to be better than 'that guy'? you should give them a chance at least. Being with someone else might in fact heal your broken heart.
It sounds like that guy just wanted to sleep with you...
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