A
female
age
26-29,
*eallynotsure
writes:Okay so I'm gonna make this short and sweet. Has anyone else had an experience with a deadbeat dad and found themselves weirdly attracted to men at least 10 years older? Maybe that's not why I, as a teenage girl find myself attracted to much older men but I really am thinking that may be the reason. I believe it's called the Daddy Complex? Does anyone think this makes sense or am I just strange? Thanks.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2012):
 I don't actually agree with the whole theory of "daddy complex" if all you have is an attraction that feels sexual... if you want them to parent you, that's a different issue.
I am attracted to men young enough to be my sons (I have two sons now) and I don't have a "son complex" it's just what appeals to my taste.
you're a teenager. for safety's sake only date boys your age for a bit...after you are 20 or so then you can see if you still are attracted to older men and maybe will want to consider therapy if you feel your issues with your father are not resolved.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): "Maybe that's not why I, as a teenage girl find myself attracted to much older men but I really am thinking that may be the reason."Not a trained professional, just speculating but I suggest it's very likely. All girls need their father's love, attention and support. Those unfortunate to be daughters of deadbeat absentee sperm donors often seek to fill the huge void in their lives with much older boyfriends to play both husband/father roles, sometimes almost immediately becoming pregnant by them, so they can "be a family like the one I never had.""I believe it's called the Daddy Complex? Does anyone think this makes sense or am I just strange?"Yes, you make sense about the Daddy thing (I use term "Daddy issues") and no, you're not strange at all. Expected reaction to circumstances beyond your control. Very common among girls and young women who grow up fatherless, but very few share your intelligence and insight and self-awareness to make the connection between being "weirdly" (your word) attracted to older men. As a guy old enough to be your father's father, I'm sorry you were stuck with a deadbeat loser as a sperm donor (he's no father), he must have caused you much pain and unhappiness, and I wouldn't be surprised if your mother takes out her frutrations and grievances against him on you as well (unintentionally, directing her anger against him towards you due to you're being constant reminder of him).Can only strongly suggest counselling, life has dealt you an unfortunate situation but you are blessed with the intelligence and insight and self-awareness to overcome the difficulities your loser sperm donor has caused and grow up to be an emotionally healthy, functional adult. Best wishes.
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