A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey all. i need ur advice. ive gone and dumped my bf of 4 months when i didnt really mean to.when i first met him i really didnt know what i wanted, but over the months ive developed really strong feelings for him and its scaring me. due to this i seem to have all these insecurities and wonder what his intentions really are.some things have caused me to doubt him like how he's met all my friends, but ive never met any of his. the fact he makes sure i never leave as much as a hairclip at his house when i stay over. the fact he tells me he misses me but we still only see each other once a week (granted, we both have kids but still..)im absolutely sure he's not cheating on me, but i've often thought maybe he just aint that into me (to be looking long term)anyways i freaked out the other night. i dont even know what triggered it, i just started thinking about all the niggly doubts i had. so i texted him and said i needed to talk to him. he says just say what u have to say. so i asks if eveythings ok, he says yeah. i said we dont make much time for each other.. he says he has alot on at work,etc. anyway he then says if i want to just call it a day then just do it. so in the heat of the moment i did! through text which i would never normally do to anyone. i'm well aware i was playing games and probably dont deserve much from him, but i havent heard from him since!i waited all day on a text or phonecall which never came. i then texted him to which he never replied. im absolutely gutted, i really thought that i meant more to him that that.i know my behaviour was bad, and that i've played stupid games which have backfired. so my question is.. what do i do now? do i call him or just leave it? does anyone think maybe he's just angry just now and will contact me soon? or have i well and truly blew it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): Look, you said you were unsure about the relationship to begin with, but then developed feelings for him.
What "I" don't like is that when you sent him a text saying you needed to talk to him, he was quite abrupt: told you everything's okay, but has too much going at work to see you very often.......hello? he doesn't work 24/7, now does he? HE then said if you wanted to call it a day, then just do so. You later sent him a text because you felt you'd acted hastily, but he has not replied.
Maybe you WERE a bit hasty, but even so, he brought up the idea of ending it, not you. I think that tells you all you need to know, and upset as you are, you have nothing to blame yourself for! I would not contact him again, if I were you - not unless he gets in touch first.........
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