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male
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anonymous
writes: I am married for the past 5 years with no kids. I love my wife but recently I have this feeling that really make me guilty. I beginning to develop strong feeling towards my sister-in-law, who is now a divorcee and have two kids. I know this is not good but I just can't help it. I really feel happy each time I have the opportunity to meet her. I really don't know if she likes me the way I feel. How to know if she likes me too? Deep inside, i really hope she to have same feeling for me. At the same I am confused about this whole thing because i am married to her sister (younger). What should I do? It's not easy for me to forget her. I am going crazy!! please help me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Stay away from your sister-in-law. This is a no win situation. No matter how you calculate the costs outweigh the benefits. Have your own kids with your wife or adopt. As a man you may find your sister-in-law more attractive on a primitive level because she has proven her fertility. Whatever you do, don't go marry the sister. That's nuts ! No dude, there's no way out of this - stay very far away from your sister-in-law.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2006): There is only one thing you need to do. Stop now and stay away from your sister in law. Avoid her like the plague. Out of sight is out of mind. This is coming from someone who has gone through the whole sister in law thing for about 6 years. I never cheated, but I came close. Too close. I finally woke up after realizing what marriage is really about. I went from talking to my wife's sister daily, going out with her (nothing sexual or romantic), and doing other things to avoiding her for 1 1/2 years. I wouldn't talk to her or even look at her. It was the only way. Only recently, after solidifying my relationship w/my wife do I speak to her. I onlt talk to her at family functions and that is normal "hello, how are things" and then I move on. My wife suspected something was up, never liked it and we battled constantly. I'd say we were just good friends. BS, I was a moron and I admit it. My wife's sister said things like, leave her and see what happens. "You're keeping the house, right?" A wolf in sheep's clothing. I bet that you and your wife hardly do anything togther on a regular basis. I'm not talking about going out to eat or the movies either. I mean like walks, exercising, hobby like things. I found that after I treated my wife like my best friend, things did a 180 degree turn. You like being around your best friend so make your wife your best friend. DO THINGS TOGETHER. That is absolutely the most important thing I can say. Ignore your wife's sister and concentrate on your wife. Play ball, ski, library, whatever. I promise you it will make a difference. You can't imagine how hard it was for me to give up my feelings for my wife's sister after that many years. Do it now before it gets much worse.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): maybe you don't feel needed in your marriage and because your sister-in-law is on her own she brings out the nurturer in you. Make no mistake, you will be heading for disaster if you follow this through, no one will like you very much and you will tear a family apart. Get some counselling and try to understand what is missing in your relationship with your wife. She is all you need to worry about, and the crisis you are going through yourself, needs to be addressed.
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A
female
reader, Clarey  +, writes (10 May 2006):
 Maybe you want children? Maybe she reminds you of your wife but in a different form which in some way makes you happier? If she does not feel the same, you will be very uneasy around her if you tell her how you feel. If you do go off with her you will find pain. Plus, the pain it causes your wife will be incredible and terrible, there could be no greater betrayal than this. You will never be forgiven for it. If you went ahead and decided it was a mistake there would be no way back.
If you love your wife as you say, you would not wish this on her, you would put her before yourself. Get counselling or at least look at yourself and be honest about why this is happening now. Many newly divorced women get such attention from their friend's husbands and this is similar. Why do you feel it now that she is divorced? If you really mean to follow this through don't underestimate the gravity of the results or the anguish that you will cause. If you must, leave your wife and let time pass before beginning anything with her sister. One thing at a time. If you are considering that one situation will merge easily into another, forget it. Good luck with controling this urge, which could just be a symptom of an underlying problem with your marriage. I would check that our first. You will feel bad, ashamed and worthless before you feel happy with your wife's sister so don't be reckless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): Not good! Forget about her. If you make a move and she shows interest and you both start a secret relationship, everything will unfold ultimately and you'll tear a family apart. Think... is it worth it or not? NO! of course. Its lust you're feeling. Dont let it get out of hand. Try to avoid her as much a possible before you go and pull something stupid. She might just slap you in the face for makin a move on her. Hope this helps.
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