A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi i am a hindu girl (17) and i am in a relationship with my sister's best and life long mate hes 20 and white we have fallen in love but the trouble is my sister (also 20) hates the idea of mixed race relationships.we have been going out for a year we have kept it on the down low for as long as we could as i knew my sister would hit the roof if she knew things where going well up until she walked in on us kissing she went ballistic screaming at him saying that he had defiled me and betrayed her and insulted her culture. she is now forcing me to pick between him and her and she even threatened to tell my dad (which back fired as when he found out he was happy for us) but she still wont talk to me or him and she walks out of the room if i enter my question is how do i get her to come around and see that race dont matter as we are in love any suggestions ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): your sister has no right to say who you can and cant go out with if you truly love him then dont let her racist views stop you for being with him as for there fredship it may never truly recover as he knew how storngly her views where on the matter of mixed race relashionships she propaly saw it as a betarly of her trust and as for the defiling you part she needs to grow up.
we cant help who we fall in love with i my self am going out with a hindu girl an im white it took her family time to acepte us.
tell your sister that you will never pick as you love them both.
i hope all works out for u in then end
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): to clear up an confuson its ment to say she is forcing me to pick i only just noticed the the s has been placed on a diffen line it should say she is now forcing me to pick between him and her sorry for the confuson
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 and we care about what our sisters think of our lives because?????
she is shocked and scared and hurt that she was not told and had to find out about it on the downlow...
you don't get her to come around... only TIME will heal this wound... and maybe not. IF she is deeply ingrained in believing in non-race mixing she may never accept a mixed race relationship of any sort..
In my circle of friends, we say we PICK our family we HAVE relatives... and I know folks say blood is thicker than water but if blood is abusive or non-supportive give me water any day of the week.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Your sister is probably shocked and feeling a little betrayed. He was her best life long mate, and she trusted him, and to her she probably can't believe that her friend would even consider going after her sister, or that her sister would go after her best mate. She will most likely in time, get over the hurt she is feeling at the betrayal as she sees it, and come to accept or tolerate it at the very least. Unfortunately the relationship that you and her had will never be the same, and the friendship he and her had will never be the same either. Only time will tell.
As for your boyfriend, if he is asking you to choose between him and a family member (no matter how that family member is acting at the moment) he is not worth it. Family are definitely for always, boyfriends aren't necessarily forever, and if he loved you he wouldn't be asking you to chose between you and your sister. It's a hard situation that was created by the two of you, you decided to keep it a secret for so long, and so have been lying for a year, that does hurt someone when they love and trust you, keep that in mind when your sister is being this way. I am glad you are happy in your relationship, and I hope it works out for you. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Mabye she fancied him, she will come round.
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