A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have an on line relationship with a woman for 12 years. At various times she loves me, and at times she doesn't. She's married and has cheated in real life on her husband since the first week they were married and continues to do so 8 years into their marriage. One of those 100 or so men was me. I know she suffered some sexual abuse as a child but I don't have details. She has many men that have fallen in love with her and she uses them for a while and drops them when she gets tired of them and moves on to others. I have stayed around longer than any other men probably because I've based our relationship more on friendship than sex. She reaches out to no one..not her mom, her sister, her husband, or even her children. She thinks about them occasionally but has no remorse or regret that there isn't more contact. It would seem that everyone that comes into her life is disposable. Even when others break off the relationship with her rather than the other way around, she does not feel despair or loss. She merely moves on. My problem is that like other men, I have fallen in love with her and have no idea what to do about it. She remains with her husband since he provides food, clothing and shelter. Since she doesn't work, she is free to be on the internet all day trolling chat rooms for men to play with on the computer and if they are local to meet for a tryst in real life. Sorry this is turning into a book but there are two problems here..hers, which I doubt I can do anything about, and mine which I'm hoping I can do something about. I've tried to make a clean break from her several times but I keep coming back to her. If anyone else has been where I am, please tell me of your successful strategies for removing yourself from this self imposed hell on earth. Thank you in advance for your help.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 I think you need to consider that you are also emotionally dysfunctional too. Why else would you desire someone that obviously uses people like this. Stop making excuses for her just because you have the hots for her.
It is not your job to "fix" her. Next, what is your job is to find someone that treats you amazingly. She does not qualify.
Stop all contact with her. Period. None. If she ends up in the hospital, it is not your fault and not your problem. Spend your time figuring out the type of woman that you want to be with (one that actually cares for you and does not see you as disposable). Then actively go meet women that fit your new criteria.
-Frank B Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): im only 18 and u might not take my advice because u might think im too young, but i think u deserve so much better. even if she didnt have the perfect childhood she still has a brain to think with, if she wants men and wanted to play around then she shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, like she cheated on her husbadn even if u had a relationship with her say in the future than she would defnetly cheat on u because obviously she doesnt know what marriage means. and after 12 years do u think she feels the same way u feel abt her? i just think u deserve better there are plenty of women that would appreciate ur love and love u back, dont u want some1 to treat u right some1 u can depend on and trust?? evry1 does i think and i think if u look foe something bigger u will find som1 that will appreciate u and love u back :) good luck in whatever u choose to do
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