A
female
age
36-40,
*opeless inlove
writes:Did it turn out how you wanted Or were you left with regrets? Did you the love the person more than your spouse? What happened and how did things turn out? I fell inlove with another man and its not infatuation i belive I love him. My husband is a good man but we drifted apart from not seeing him much and he chose to do other stuff than spend time with me. I still feel love for my husband but not like i feel for this other person. Should I leave for my lover or stay and work on this? Don't answer unless you can relate to the question. Thanks. Also. I have 3 kids which is why I'm scared to leave and my oldest is smart. I saw my lover at the store but my son asked if he was my boyfriend, don't know why he asked that if I didnt give him a reason to think that. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): Maybe your husband is seeing another women but I doubt it. I would have a long talk with my husband before I just drop him like that with three children, what can this new guy do for you that your husband can't do? The romance will not last forever and not only that, this new guy will never get married to you because he knows that you are a cheater because you cheated on your husband with him and he's not a good man in the first place to be sleeping with a married woman so where is his respect? Once you drop your husband for this new guy then the new guy will drop you because he wont be cheating anymore.
A
female
reader, Hopeless inlove +, writes (26 February 2012):
Hopeless inlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo eyes wide open question- yes I have been seeing him for a while.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): if the reason your marriage has crumbled is because your husband has chosen not to spend time with you, your hb has basically emotionally abandoned you, which means you only have a shell of a marriage.
my advice would be to leave your hb. whether or not it works out with this other guy is a different matter, so dont' think of it as choosing between your hb or the other guy. if you think of it that way and you choose the other guy but in the end it doesn't work out, you'll feel you made a mistake which it would be if that was the reason you left.
The real point is that being in a marriage with someone who refuses to emotionally engage, and is unavailable, is a crap marriage and should be ended so you can find someone better in the future. it may be this new guy, or he may also ultimately disappoint, who knows. the point is that your hb has checked out of the marriage already so do you want to make the necessary adjustments so you can move on?
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (26 February 2012):
 You will always trade one set of problems for another. Your new man may be exciting right now, but eventually you'll see his down side and by then it may be too late to patch things up with your husband. You are suffering from a typical case of "The gras sis greener on the other side" only it rarely ever is. If you are in an abusive, loveless marriage I encourage you to leave and take your chances with the new guy." But if your husband is kind, loving and decent you should think again. A new love always seems more exciting than an old one, but there will always be somethings the new guy does that's not as good as what you have at home and the relationship will always be tainted with regret and guilt. It's rarely ever worth it. You have to really look at the big picture of what you have with your spouse, if he provides you with what you need and want for the most part; there's always little things you can do to energize your relationship as long as you both still have love for each other. It may not feel "new" but it should feel comforting and stable. That's worth alot! I have been in your shoes and I can tell you from experience you're probably better off staying with your spouse and keeping your family together. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 February 2012):
 Are you actually having an affair with your "lover" or are you just suffering from a crush on the guy?
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