A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Ok well here goes I really need some advice!I talk to a lad regularly on the net, we get on great, and we have become great friends. The thing is, I feel like I have fallen for him now and I don't know what to do. We've told each other we like each other in the past, and we both know that.He also has a girlfriend who he loves and he lives miles away from me.He keeps giving me mixed signals, like I feel like he has feelings for me but he won't tell me. I'm too scared to tell him I have feelings for him.I'm scared that if I say one wrong thing, it will ruin our friendship. I don't want to do that, or try and break him and his girlfriend up. But I definitely think he has feelings for me. You know how you can just tell?I need to know what's going on in his head at the moment. I think about him constantly, and it seriously is making me depressed. I have never been so down about wanting someone so bad!Sometimes, I feel like he's giving me signs, things he says and does. I don't know whether I'm just believing this because I want to.I'm absolutely confused in this situation and i don't know what to do.I am wishing we'll get together, but am I hoping for a day that will never come? He's absolutely everything I want in a boyfriend and I can't have him.Anyone got any advice? I'd appreciate it, thank you.
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (11 December 2005):
Hello there,
Ohhh you must be feeling very frustrated at the moment hey, not knowing what to do? Ok so you like this guy, hes a great friend and you feel more for him then just a friend, you have romantic feelings for him. He has a gf yet sometimes you feel like he has those feelings back for you. His gf lives far away from him does he?
I think this situation, like many others you will come acorss in life will have something bad come with it, no matter what you do or even if you do nothign about it, unfortunatly. Its something where you might have to sacrifice or put up with being uncomfotable (like bringing up the topic of talking to him about it) for a little bit yet can very much be rewarded with a closer relationship to grow from that.
Weigh out the positives and negatives to the options that you have. From there you can look at which way might be best for you.
These are the options i see you have-
1. Tell him your feelings. This way you get all your feelings out in the open. You can sleep at night knowing that you tried and gave it a shot, there will be no 'what ifs' in your mind because you would of made the move. Also it has the likelyhood of him saying he has those feelings back and then a relationship for both of you! Yet it also requires you to open up and that can be hard with the fear of rejection. But I think its a chance you have to take. You have to work hard for the things you want in life and no good thigns come with out effort.
2. Dont tell him how you feel and stay friends. This way you will have all those what if questions and a feeling of disapoint. Yet you will also be able to be frineds with him so you can stiill have that. Whether that beh ard for you todeal with or not, im not sure. Some people find it hard to be frineds with someone they cant have.
3. Dont tell him how you feel and cut him out of your life- i personally think this is the last option you should consider. this is because not only will you loose a great friend but yoiu will have all those questions of what ifs and so on. and never knowing if something more oculd of happened.
In conclusion, i say option 1 might take risk and courage yet in the end it can be very much worth it! if your afraid that it might not work out and you will loose the friendship, well any guy who is worth your time wouldnt let a simple thing like that come between you 2, if anything he will take it as a compliment but still continue the friendship.
take care and good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2005): I think you should move on, because for your happiness you cant come between a relation so my advice will be to lock him off and wait, you will find a decent bloke..
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