| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I am 22 years old and my girlfriend is 26. I love her more than anything but don't really like the way she treats me.We been togeather for 1 year. She treats me different compared to the way she use to, like she used to be more caring and loving. I always try not to argue. If I do, I always say sorry to her. She gets alright for few hours and after sometime some new topic to argue about...and she say so many horrible things like (you use me this another, don't love me that much anymore). I just keep quiet insead of saying anything. I don't really know what to do?. Really need help. Regards,Terry Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2005): Learn from mistakes...will help you and your gf alot
A
female
reader, patience +, writes (12 December 2005):
Dear Terry
As an older woman with a younger first boyfriend now husband. I know it is not easy. Despite the "modern day" society we live in, there are hurdles to cross. My husband and I are only 3 years apart but a whole different generation apart.
Your girlfrinds loves you but is probably revaluating the whole relationship on whether she wants to be with a younger man or not. There is also the pressure from frineds to get a "real" man. Maturity is an issue when dealing with certain aspects of a relationship. Problem solving for example. She may want to talk out a problem and has differculty with you just wanting to keep the peace. Your girlfrind is also reaching the age where she is looking for more sensitivity, campassion and love from her man. Try when she's argueing to comfort instead of just staying quite go and hug her. Tell her you love and that your feelings for her will never change. Tell her everyting is going to be alright. I'm sure it will make a big differnce.
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (11 December 2005):
hello there,
it sounds like you are really feeling hurt by the way your gf treats you and i can understand that. First off I will ask you what are the positive things in your relationship with your gf, what are the things you love about her and what is keeping you with her? Think about that for a while so you can understand how important to you it is that you stay with your gf, if it turns out maybe its not as important as your own well being then maybe you can consider breaking it off.
Yet im a keen person to talk about issues before just 'running away' and not disucssing them with the other people involed who may very well make the situation and you feel much better!
I suggest talk to her about how you feel. The important thing to remmeber is to not make her defensive and take it in a way that it turns out to a huge mean and ugly fight. When talking to her use statements such as " I feel that when you say this that bla bla bla...", "When you do that, it makes me think that you may not love me..", do you get what i mean? its important to state that its JUST how YOU feel, not that its a fact because when someone makes out like they are right and that its al ltrue, it makes hte other person mad and fear that they wont listen to them as they have there mind set that say that person is trying to hurt them so instead you say 'i feel like when you say that, very hurt nad upset', for example.
Perhaps it would also be a good idea to bring up the issues of how shes feeling in the relationship and in life. Maybe she has other issues that are making her feel very dow nand because she knows that you love her and trusts that you are commited, then she can take her anger and frustrations out on you? If that is the case, thats not very nice or right! You should let her know that thats not on, but at the same time offer other ways for her to cope with the anger. Like instead of over reacting nad perhaps yelling at you for something, let her talk about REALLY is on her mind.
Do you get what im saying here?
In the end, communication is the key. talk to her about it and try to make a change in the relationship so you both are happy. if things dont change, like if she doesnt put any effort in, it could be worth considering is this worth it? because you deserve a happy relationship where you are treated, with love, respect, diginity and loyalty.
i hope i have helped :) and good luck
...............................
|
