A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I have been seeing a guy I have known for a while, although he is 6 years older than me we get on like a house on fire and we always have such good fun together. The thing is, he is a pro wake boarder and in the summer we both have to go away, it was never a serious thing between us, but now I think I have fallen for him. A few days ago I got thinking about it all, I phoned him up and endded it with him. Im afraid. The longer it goes on the more I seem to fall for him, and the more painful it seems it will be when it does have to end. Have I done the right thing by ending it? Im so scared of how heartbroken I will be when summer comes if I keep it going, but I cant keep my mind off him and wonder what if?Please give me some advice, my mind is such a mess at the moment, if I can sort this one thing out at least its one less thing to deal with.Sherry.
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female
reader, mcbirdie  +, writes (26 April 2007):
 Your mind can be your own worst enemy when it comes to getting over a relationship. Instead of focusing on reality, you tend to fantasize about all the good things about him--including the things that maybe weren't really there. In your mind, he will always be a little bit funnier, a little bit more sensitive, and a whole lot less inconsiderate or awkward.
My point is that you're not so much falling deeper in love with the real guy, so much as falling deeper into a crush on the ideal version of this guy. I don't think you need to worry about being more heartbroken come the summer--these things tend to burn really bright, and then burn out.
In the meantime, take care of yourself. Don't beat yourself up for your choice (which seemed very reasonable) or for thinking about this guy still (which is normal). Go out and enjoy yourself--do fun things that distract you for however long, and wait it out. We've all been there, and we lived too. :)
Good luck.
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