A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive been with this guy for 7 months now. he seems to have a hard time opening up, and seems like someone who nevr really could want a relationship. im the idiot who chases him. so here's the situation.. we moved away from our hometown together, we live over 200 miles away from it. we got a place together and a car thats all in his name. i took care of us finaicaly when we first got here, but now he is (because i had a short pregnancy that ended in a misscarrage) he has this "game" he plays, where he tells me to pack my stuff and get out, he's real causual about it and even tells me before he throws me out that where going to be getting back together, but for now where breaking up and i need to go home and i cant stay there. i pack and go home to a town i hadnt been to in 7 months, and have to find a place to stay. the next day he'll call me up and tell me its a big mistake on his part and that he cant live with out me. every time i come back, a few weeks later he does it again. its happened 5 times now. every time he tells me no one was over while i was gone, and that all he did was sit around and regret throwing me out. ive dated alot of jerks, but this game is new to me. does it sound like a serial cheater to anyone? and why cant i let him go!!? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Guys like him put me out of business so please do me a favor and put the "for sale" sign on his head. Chances are tho no woman would wanna buy a man like this on the open market. Then again, he may be on demand as I know how that society is. Go figure.
He's abusive, manipulative, and extremely immature. Miss, this isnt a guy you should stick around to fix up. He's not a lego project, he's a immature human being and thus detrimental to your wellness. Please get rid of him as this relationship is already toxic. You need to stand firm on him to teach him a lesson and that he should not treat any woman like this. If you keep giving in, he will use this vulnerability against you cause youre too nice and forgiving. Get a real gentleman, please.
regards
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): If you humiliate someone enough like this, after a period of time they start believing that they deserve to be humiliated and the treatment is OK.
That is where you are headed, if you didn't already get there.
Pack up and leave and find yourself a better way of living.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 To follow up with tennisstar's advice, make sure you aren't leaving any financial details unattended. If you are paying for the car which is in his name, stop. Let his credit take the hit when he can't make payments any more Better still, if you bought the car, prove it, get the pink slip and get the ownership transferred to your name.
Stop doormatting and start PLANNING.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 He's thrown you out 5 times and you go back every time?? I'm no buying that he sat around regretting throwing you out. He's doing it for a reason, which I'm willing to bet there's another girl involved.
So you took care of you both financially, why wasn't the car and house in your name instead of his? He's throwing his weight around, kicking you out of a house he wouldn't have thanks to you. I think the reason you can't let him go is because at first he posed as a challenge to you, seeing as he didn't seem to want a relationship and this is still the case. Not to mention your track record of dating jerks. On top of that he's being nice about throwing you out for a day then telling you to come back. Each time you fall for it. Next time he throws you out, make it permanent...leave and don't turn back. If you keep on he'll just continue this vicious cycle.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 November 2010):
Why do you think you are okay with being treated like this? What inside you is telling you that it's okay to be treated like this?
Honestly, just make plans to move some place and take back control of your life. Who cares if he's cheating? He's abusive and nasty and if you put up with this you are only going to get beaten down and eventually he won't ask for you to come back.
He sounds like a colossal jerk to me. And you sound like someone who has been trained for some reason to accept being treated like a doormat or a potential punching bag. Please find yourself a new home and go to work on figuring out why you have tolerated this for so long.
Best wishes.
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