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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been seeing my girlfriend now for just over 2 months. Everything has been fine and we really get on well with each other and have a good time. However I have an issue which I can't talk to her about.. I don't know anything about the girl's past! It's things such as how many guys she has been with, whether she did drugs when she was younger etc. Usual sort of things really. It is the same for her.. she knows nothing about my past. Now I actually don't have very much to hide and I am quite open and honest when being asked these sorts of questions but I've not been asked them.Its got to the stage where I don't know if I want to carry on a relationship with her simply because I don't know her and therefore can't trust her. On the other hand I don't want to know the details of her past in case there is something dark there I don't want to uncover. Is it normal to be this wound up over being so curious? Should I talk to her about her past or just concentrate on our future?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2005): I'd say just ask it. If you want to be with her, and you really have a good time with her, you should just ask, instead of dodging doing so and worrying so much about it. I'd also say that if you feel this greatly about getting to know her, then you must really care about her alot... ~_^
Good luck!
A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (18 November 2005):
 Usually if you want to know something about someone's past, you just ask them. If you're that curious especially. It's not usually the past that matters, it's your future that you want with her. Sometimes part of her past she may not be happy about and maybe she wouldn't want you to know.
The stuff you're talking about, sometimes how many guys she's been with, it's kinda personal, and what counts is how many guys she's with right now. Drugs, maybe she's done some, maybe she hasn't, but what matters is what she's doing now that she's with you. Don't let her hide what she's doing now from you, that you can question about.
If you're really curious though, just ask her. She should let you know only what she wants you to know. Time will tell how she really is and if you want to still be with her or not. Sometimes it takes a little bit before you can trust someone you really don't know, but eventually it should happen.
Good Luck!
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