A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:what does my ex want from me? my ex and I broke up years ago, we decided to stay friends, but it seem to me at cost. it seem ok at first but i began to wonder, over the years, she dated other people, and so have i. but i think i put myself in touble being her friend. one thing at time. i think we move on, but i don't know. i think she doesn't like poeple to know about me. ok, so about ten years ago she met some guy through a friend of mine, i was a bit uneasy about, but we broke up, so it ok. i started to like the guy, i even let him stay with me, first mistake. then i started dating his ex, they didn't like that and broke us up. than i caught them in my bed, i was annoyed. so they left and we have not had a talk in months, but then i heard from her, of course they moved in together, great. but then she had him believe i stalked her. once again mad. we stop talking. years later, we connect again, she told me that he dumped her and moved in with someone else. she wanted to go out for drinks, but i don't drink, and told her. so we talk, but then months later he returned. once again we don't talk. one years later this time i call her, she tell me that he been cheating on her again, shocker, so we talk off and on. 2 more years go by, and they get marriage or so she say, i think we should stop talking, but she say we're friend it dosen't matter, but me and him don't like each other, and i'm your ex, that when she said we was never together, what? because we didn't have sex, now we met in high school and dated afterwards, i did want to rush in to things. anyway, they have two girls, and than i realize my feeling was more and had to get away, but did yet. so i go see her at work, sometime call her at work, can't talk to at her house, she don't want him to know we are talking still. but latly it change she will talk to me for a few week than she would stop and only want me to call her, just to tell me she is busy, but when she do call me and i don't talk she get mad. i can't come to her job now, when i show up she say she can't talk. i don't understand it like once time we're friend than other time not. i know my feeling are strong, but if we are just friend than leave it at that, she love to say she love my and kiss me. now i know its friendly i guess but i don't know. she have told me that her family and cowork away say something to her about us, believing she is cheating on her husband. but i found out that he is still cheating on her. not my problem i know how that go if i say something but she alway tell me she know, am leaving, moving away. so she got me a gift. but i feel like there this wall between us, and that she don't wan t anyone of her friends to kknow about me, and with all the cheating from her husband she stay to hope it get better. i think since his is this handsome man she can live with it.
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Hi,By reading your post, I can tell that I feel this "friend" is upsetting very much. You sound frustrated by everything she's doing, and what has happened. I think that it's time to let her go. She's married now, she's selfish, because she only contacts you when she needs a friend, need support, etc. She's married to a guy that doesn't have much of integrity or morals, thats what he's, and he will never change. She knows, but still together with him, that's her problem. I feel bad for people that choose to live this way, but hey, who am I to judge? For your own good, I think will be best if you just end contact with her once it for all. Friendship should be both ways, not only you being there, doing everything. I am sure your life will be much better quality without her. Don't you think that this rollercoaster with this friend has been gone far too long? 10 years? I don't know what you want from her, or out of this friendship, but I don't think it will get better than what it is. I am sure you can find someone that truly deserves you. I am sure you can make many good friends. You just cannot find, because you are too involved with your friend. Enjoy life, do what's makes you feel happy. I got tired just reading your post, I think it's too much drama for one person, and nobody is happy. Don't you want go be happy? Have a normal, calm life? Drama free? Now it's time to think of yourself, your future, your happiness. Let her go, she's no good for you. Good luck
A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Yes, you do really need to lose contact here. This is not a good thing to have in your life now as it is fraught with these problems.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 I think it's great you want to be friends with your ex, but sometimes it's just not a good idea, and I'm sorry to say that with this woman it is not a good idea. I agree with blonde30s, lose contact with her completely, and forget about her. You deserve better than this drama she is putting you through. good Luck.
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