A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am in mid twenties from India. This is gonna be a very long post please bear with me . I am an introvert and solitary reaper kind of personality. I hardly have or made friends. Currently I have very small circle of friends with whom I am in constant touch. So back when I was 17 . I started going out with a guy Joey who was my schoolmate. We fell in love and made in official. We were both young and immature. LDR made it tough for us. So we use to be in constant touch like hours on call and meet each other once in 3 months. We have kissed cuddled and had so many special moments together. At times he was abusive then changed for good . We planned future ahead and started saving money also. Still we use to quarrel over petty issues. So one day while he was drunk he broke up with me in call. He didn't bother to give me a closure or reason. I thought no contact would help so I kept quiet. It had been 7 months since all these happened. Meanwhile I thought I have to change and made two friends. One guy and a girl. We started going out and spending time together . That guy was attracted to me yet I was not actually attracted to him. We started spending time together alone . I felt very happy like finally I made very good friend in my life. He actually respected my privacy and helped me emotionally. Last week I tried contacting my ex. He told me I was manipulative and used his parents against him and very hurtful things. That relationship ended because we both were immature and we met when we were too young . Now this is my questionsThis new friends are gonna leave my place sooner and moving on with settling down for marriage etc.. I feel like left out and I really will miss them but how to deal with this?I never told my acquitance or my colleagues about break up. I don't know how to break the news with tarnishing either of us imageAfter my ex told about being manipulative I thought well. I have few weird habits like I make up stories to seek attention and love to be pampered too by my friends or family . How to stop doing that?I have very weird habit of talking to myself like I talk to real people (in my life) in my imaginary world. I laugh and joke even to myself . How to stop doing that?Last I thought changing of place would help me to move on from the thoughts about my ex. But I am concerned like I will not have any friends over there . And it would be very tough to make new friends .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2018): Living an isolated hermit's life will sometimes make you develop peculiar habits. Making-up stories is simply to get attention, and to seem more interesting than you are; or because you have a lot of time on your hands, so you weave little tales. You need to get-out more. So you will have real experiences to talk about.
It is good that your LDR ended. It didn't allow you to interact enough with people. You retreated into fantasy and your mind didn't get sufficient room to expand and explore. You need to challenge yourself with being more social and communicating comfortably with unfamiliar-people. That will be important in your professional-life; as well as your social or private-life.
Talking to yourself when you spend so much time in solitary is expected. You don't have anybody-else to talk to; other than the guy whom you've almost dedicated all your free-time. You have just a couple of friends; who are basically your audience to share your stories and fantasies with.
Now you are beginning to notice your own strange quirks and peculiarities you didn't realize you had. I'd say that's good; because if you weren't cognizant of your weirdness, you'd think it was all fine.
You've realized you need to do something about it. Get some books and publications about self-improvement, expanding your mind, exploring the world, and seeking enlightenment. Learn how to interact with people without being overcome with shyness. Be awkward, but try! How else will you grow without practice, or testing your mental-muscles with exercise? Spend time hanging-out with your new friends and try to accept invitations to parties or social events. Be open to being introduced to others they know. Dabble in writing! It could be a natural talent!
Just because something is difficult to do; is no excuse not to challenge yourself. Success and survival requires challenge; and you have to push yourself. There is no such thing as failure, when you try with sincerity. Only when you fail to try.
You are now awakening from a long deep-sleep; and becoming more self-aware. Your post is an indication of it. You have become too emotionally-dependent on your ex; and you've lost touch with humanity and reality. You've had more than enough sleep! You need to experience a real-romance. You need to breathe fresh air, and come-out from under your veil.
It's about time you gave-up that fantasy-romance, and the daydreaming-life of a little-girl. It is time to test yourself as a woman; and stop obsessing over a guy you hardly spent time with in-person. If you don't, you will lose yourself in fantasy; and will find yourself always alone. Creating your own fairy-tales. Your friends will get bored and may move on.
Mental-health counseling will help you to open-up to the world; and abort your inclination to hide in seclusion. It's unhealthy! The isolation is turning you into a weirdo, my dear! You're noticing it yourself!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 August 2018):
 It appears that you crave attention. I honestly think you should seek some medical advice about your habits and talk to a professional who can help you understand why you do it and give you techniques on how to stop.
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