A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I did something 10 days ago and I regret it sooo much,its killing me inside..I know people will judge me here but its ok I have to learn to deal with it..I have been seeing my boyfriend for the past 7 years,he is very caring,loving he looks after me but in between about 2 years ago we had an issue and we broke up,we were not together for a year or so,and he was almost on the verge of getting married to someone else but he dint go through with it,cuz he said he dint love her and it would be unfair to her,and she was only a rebound..anywys he came back to me and I accepted him,everything was fine,but I always had this at the back of my mind that he wanted to marry someone else and he slept with her,this is very important to me cuz I'm was a virgin until 15 days ago I hooked up with this common friend,I know I shldnt have..but I was just looking for someone to talk to,to share what I feel one thing led to another and we had sex!!I'm thinking of telling my boyfriend this today?I just need some help how do I tell him?I'm sure he'l be insulted,he may even hate me but I don't want to live a lie..pleasssee help!!
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female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (7 September 2012):
Are you happy with your boyfriend or has your relationship been clouded with stress and problems?
Seven years is a long time to try and make a relationship work. Are you two ever intimate in any way? Do you show one another affection? Or are you only together because you are familiar with one another because you have been together for years?
I strongly feel like you two should break up and explore other options. You need to ask yourself why you want to tell your boyfriend about sleeping with your friend. Is it because you want him to feel hurt and abandoned like you did when he left you for her? Is it because some part of you knows things will not work out and you are trying to expediate the break up process so you can move on?
You must have felt some kind of emotional connection with your friend for you to lose your virginity him. It seems like you felt more for him the night you had a conversation than all the years you were together with your boyfriend. Your friend listened to you. He showed you kindness, compassion, and listened to and conversed with you about your problems. I have a feeling this is more attention and affection than your boyfriend has shown you in some time.
You say your boyfriend 'takes care of' you but don't say in what way. Someone can say they 'take care of' a pet bird living in a tiny cage in a corner if they give her seed and fresh water and change her paper once in awhile. Is that really caring for the bird's needs? Of course not! A bird needs attention, affection, veggies and fruits, and some time out of the cage to stretch her wings.
It is time you vocalize that you want to stretch your wings. You deserve more than what your boyfriend has to offer you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): Tell him,its the best. My girlfriend also too did the same things. But she told me everything even though it took her sometime. But i accepted her since i really love her.7 years is pretty long, if he really loves you,he will accept you i am pretty sure,no one ain't perfect. But if hes changed.. thn it would backfire
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