A
female
age
30-35,
*00364009
writes:I have been having sex with this guy, who has a kid who I believe is around the age of 4 or 5 with a woman and he is an excellent father, the kid likes him better than the mother. He is not married to her but still lives with her he has been living with her for over a year, is this wrong? Anyway we work together and my brother is the Manager and he said he would fire the guy if we ever did anything. My parents are foster parents and we had a teenage girl 5 years ago that this guy had sex with and my mom found out about it and didn't like it at all. My dad hates his guts because he drinks alot with his friends, my sister hates him because he is 'imature' and yet I seem to like him alot. I have been sneeking around and lying to everybody and having sex with this guy. And today we had sex and we were talking about pregnancy and babies. He said it's a good thing you are on BC because what if you did get pregnant, and I said it would have to be yours, I don't recall him saying anything except yeah that's true. But I got home and I started crying and thinking I want to have his baby maybe I'll skip my next shot and get pregnant with him. Is this wrong because I can't discuss this with anybody from my town or family and I really need some advice on how to go about this. So please help anyone. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): girl, you have MAJOR problems........and now you want to get pregnant by A CHEATER. Oh that innocent babby, if ever born.
My darling, if he is doing it with you, he will be doing it to you. so be careful what you wish for.
are you just sleeping with him because you don't like his girlfriend? If so, you got more problems than I can imagine.....morally disfunctional (and that's you). It's all about sex with you and him. he is getting it for free from you and his girlfriend. what makes you feel that you are special to this man? You are an airhead by believing his lies, don't you know he will say ANYTHING just so that he can continue FU*&*&G you. Sad thing is, you let him.
Please gain some respect for yourself even though this man does not have any respect for you or himself. He has a kid for goodness sake. GROW UP and respect your body! This man is just screwing you because HE CAN. And yes, he wants it to continue beacuse YOU ARE EASY. Yes, easy. Harsh but true words. I am right. am i not? See this situation for what it is. You are just his whore. And he knows it. Sad, for you, but only you can change this situation. Do you want to?
A
male
reader, tux +, writes (25 March 2009):
 "he wants it to stay like that so he can keep getting more. so what does that mean exactly?"
It means that he wants to continue having you for sex while he probably is getting some from her as well. You need to re-read what you just wrote and figure out what it means. She doesn't know about you, and if you told her then she'd probably flip out because she sees him as cheating on her and he'd flip out because you stopped what he was getting. How many other girls is he saying the same stuff too that you don't know about? I seriously think you are being blinded by your desire to be with this guy.
Having his baby is the worst thing that can happen because I doubt he'd be seeing you for much longer if you did. You need to take off your blinders for a second.. and realize what he is doing.
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A
female
reader, 000364009 +, writes (24 March 2009):
000364009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe doesn't know about me nobody knows this is going on except me and him. I mean I don't like her and she doesn't like me, I know that much. I do want to see a therapist but I don't know how much it's going to cost me. see that is the problem I do want him alot. Last time we had sex he said it was the best he had in a long time and he wants it to stay like that so he can keep getting more. so what does that mean exactly? He also said he loves talking and spending time with me because he knows I will not tell any one what he says and he won't tell anyone what I say. Here is another thing I can't lie to him and he can't lie to me, what does this mean?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Hell yes! It's VERY wrong to proposely get pregnant with him against his will! How would YOU feel if some other boyfriend of yours had decided to secretly poke holes in his condoms at a time when you didn't want a baby with him?
It sounds to me like you want him, and you're willing to get pregnant with his baby to get him.
But here's the problem - having his baby won't make him want to be with you any more than he does now.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (24 March 2009):
So if you only see him for sex when the other girl is at work and the kid is in school for 3 hours.. if you get pregnant, when will he have time for your child? It sure does not sound like a great situation to bring a child into this world..
btw does this other girl know about you? Has she told you that she knows? I wouldn't go by his word alone..
But nonetheless, I would continue those shots and probably find a new guy that will have more time for you and any product of the relationship..
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 March 2009):
 You don't need advice you need a therapist. There are too many things fundamentally wrong with your thinking. Get professional help. Oh and keep getting those shots.
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A
female
reader, 000364009 +, writes (24 March 2009):
000364009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe only drinks with his buddies when she and the kid are out of town. And we don't nesscerarly go on dates we have sex when she's at work and the kis is at school for 3 hours and he tells me everything.
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A
female
reader, 000364009 +, writes (24 March 2009):
000364009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe only drinks with his buddies when she and the kid are out of town. And we don't nesscerarly go on dates we have sex when she's at work and the kis is at school for 3 hours and he tells me everything.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (24 March 2009):
Do you really think he is good father material? I would have a hard time believing that because he is probably spending a lot of time going out on dates with you and drinking with his buddies, not to mention the time at work, than to really take care of his kid.
I don't know his complete situation with his child, but it might appear that he likes him more because he isn't around much to punish him and probably only gets rewards from him when he gets back. That could easily explain why the kid seems to like him more.
You may not like to hear this, but I think you may want to reassess what it takes to be a good parent..
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