A
female
age
30-35,
*issLestrange
writes: I am so completely and utterly stuck, I do not know what to do. I'm trying to move on from the woman I fell in love with and I just can't. I'm just back at school now - I had an eight week summer and I thought I would have moved on from Ms. - the woman I have been in love with for almost 5 years now. The moment I saw her I tried not to be sad about it. I just thought "this is the woman that ruined my life" because, she did. She made me completely unsure of my emotions for almost... a year by lying about me behind my back and making it look like I was stalking her. I'm into my second week of school now, I'm not getting any better. I'm finding it so hard to keep away from her and it's so hard to continue with the moving on process when I know she's there. Even when I don't think about her, I usually bump into her during the course of the day. I'm 15 years old and she's 42. I know she cannot love me and I don't want that from her. I don't even know why I'm still in love with her. Most of me hates her now but there is this tiny part of me eating away, telling me I need her. I don't believe I do need her anymore. I've surrounded myself with friends and I've had a relationship. I may forget about her for one or two days. Then she just comes back into my mind and no matter what I do to try and "occupy myself" nothing seems to work. Even when I spend time with my friends -I find myself wishing that I was with her. I spent all of my summer worrying about her. People keep asking about her, because she used to confide in me too and everyone knows this. It doesnt help Ms and I used to be really good friends and I used to confide in her, now its just such a mess. (People spread rumours that we slept together) I don't know what to do to make this go away. Its getting harder because she now watches the lunch hall where I eat my lunch and its hard to concentrate on eating and talking when she's walking about, smiling. Please don't say to me "Its just a crush" because I know its not. It has not gone away for almost 5 years. I would literally do anything for this woman. I know she wants me to forget about her and move on because she can't deal with the drama but I'm finding it so hard, I don't have her wisdom and I really wish I did.I just want to know, regardless of her being there every second of every day, how can I forget about her and move on?Any help would be appreciated. MODERATOR'S NOTE: Please verify your gender for the readers.
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crush, fell in love, move on, stalking Reply to this Question
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female
reader, softballplaya  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 hey there :)
What your going through is tough and I know it feels like you will never move on but in time you will, you just have to let yourself. Your still holding onto memories and what used to be there but its pointless, I know that sounds harsh and I don't mean for it to but you know in your heart that its only causing you heartache. Thats good that your surrounding yourself with friends and doing things in your time to occupy yourself. That always helps keeps things off your mind. What you can do is when you start missing her, think of all the pain this woman caused you. Outweigh that little bit of good thats tell you that you need her, with the all the bad that she did to you. Eventually this will diminish that though of her doing you any good or that you need her. 5 yrs seems like a while to be stuck on someone but you can't help that your not ready to forget things. Everything will get better, you just have to let yourself forget her. I was in the same situation before over an ex until he screwed me over so badly that I just forgot every single good thing he ever did for me. You don't deserve to be putting yourself through this, forget this woman and live your life:) I really hope I helped you and if you need anymore help feel free to message me!
God bless
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