A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been having a bad time with self confidence and to a certan extent self loathing.I believe its starting to affect my relationship, as im constantly putting myself down. I was bullied at school (most people are). I was told by many girls that i was unattractive at school and work. Even my mates on occasions put me down. There are many factor that contribute to the way i feel. I want to overcome this feeling.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 OK guy, start by being honest with yourself. What is there about yourself that you can fix? Anything? If there is, get your rear in gear and start fixing it. You can tell what's real from what's just bull, and you can tell what you can really change if you want to from what is absolutely permanent.So that's step one. Fix the fixable. Now for step two. Get to know yourself. Take a good inventory of yourself and figure out what your good qualities are. Get to the top of your own game psychologically. If you start feeling good about yourself it will start to show in the way you interact with others.There are lots of self-help programs out there on the web that can help you build a new you. Most of them cost money, and some of them frankly aren't worth it. Some of them are. I hesitate to recommend any commercial programs here, but if you look around the on-line dating sites a bit you'll see them advertised. You don't have to be good looking or anything to be at ease in social situations or with women. You just need some tricks that help you be all that you can be.And good luck.
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