A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been going out with a great girl for about a year now.at the moment it is a long distance relationship. anyways we had an aruguement about the people she hangs around with over there guys hitting on her repeatedly,and me getting angry cause she calls them friends but if they were real friends theyed back off after she told them she's taken.her family is prone to depression and shes on antidepresants .last weekend she forgot to take them and drank a lot and had frankly dumb friends telling her that i didnt care about her anymore cause of the fight when all i do i care for and worry about her.anyways she cheated on me,feels really horrible about it and says her head was messed up cause of the booze and lack of meds.should i chalk it up to the medical aspect and forgive her?or treat her like any other cheater and be done with her?i really do love her,can anyone help im so sick about this whole thing.
View related questions:
cheated on me, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 I would say I have to agree with Isabella1974. If this is truely a one time thing and you are willing to forgive her COMPLETELY and you two can move on, great.But, being depressed or under the influence of alcohol is NOT an excuse. I think its time to move on. Long distance relationships are difficult and this is usually the biggest problem. Someone meets someone else. Without the closeness, its hard to maintain feelings for someone. It is one thing if it is very temporary, then Id say that long distance could work. I am not sure about the circumstances but that is besides the point, there is no excuse for cheating. The sad thing is that before she cheated, she should have broke it off with you. She has probably been feeling the impact of the distance for a while. But instead, she tried to maintain something that may have been failing (for her) anyways. So one thing leads to another, and cheats. Point is, I would be done and over with that one!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Can you truely forgive her and learn to trust her again? If you can then you should be able to get over this and continue with your relatioship without this ever coming between you again. If you can't then end it, or you will become paranoid and will constantly argue probably resulting in more heartbreak and the end of your relationship. Good luck... Xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Hi there,
Its hard when you are in a long distance relationship, as you dont see the person as much as you would like to. You sound like a very caring person and she is lucky to have you.
However,at the end of the day, there is nothing you can do if your girlfriend chooses to hang out with other people that you dont approve of it. She is entitled to have other people in her life, but i totally understand where you are coming from.
yes she is suffering from depression and just because she forgot to take her tablets, i would never accept drink as an excuse for cheating on someone. Depression is a terrible thing and can sometimes make people act in a way, and they dont seem to care about anything.
Yes she made a mistake and has hurt you, but, what if this happens again. If you feel you can forgive her and you feel you can trust her when she is away again.
Its really down to you whether you can forgive her or not..can you trust her not to do it again. You have the option of giving her the benefit of the doubt, although if it was me i would always be wondering while she is away, what she is up to and this will eat away at you. If it was me i would have to walk away and move on. I would be afraid she would use this excuse again.
you need to be happy also, dont forget about this, life is to short to be with someone who you are not sure of.
Hope this help
Take care
...............................
|
