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female
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,For pretty much my entire life, I've been what most people would consider "easy". I've never had a boyfriend, but in order to get me to go out with him, a guy wouldn't have to do much more than say, "Will you go out with me?" Well, I've heard it said many times that guys like when they have to work for something, and now that I'm starting high school in August, I've decided that it's high time I start playing "hard-to-get" if it turns them on so much. The thing is, I have no idea how to go about doing that. Can anyone give me any advice as to how to do so? Any help is GREATLY appreciated.
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female
reader, sybilofcumae +, writes (6 September 2006):
If you like someone say yes if you don't say no. Life is too short for games. People waste so much time and energy on messing with each other. Be true to yourself do whats in your heart and don't get caught upin stuff that is really pointless. The guy who respects you for it will be one you want to be with. The guy who likes to be messed around and plays games isn't the kind you want to be with.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 July 2006):
 The very phrase "playing hard to get" lets you know that it's a game, doesn't it? It suggests that you're not really "hard to get"; you're just acting the part because you thought you were expected to.
But rather that playing games with men's minds -- never a positive step toward a relationship -- why not just skip the pretence entirely? Go out with guys if they ask and you want to, not because you think you should. Be who you are.
There are lots of guys who'll find it refreshing that you don't put on an act. Certainly, it's a much better basis for a mutually-respectful relationship than playing mind games!
So when you get asked out, consider if you like that particular man, whether you're interested in getting to know him better, and make your decision based on that. And rather than feeling obligated to kiss and have sex as some sort of 'reward' for being asked out, consider whether you're really attracted to him.
Honestly, I don't think that 'playing hard to get' is any bettter than 'being easy'. It still boils down to doing something that's not the way you actually feel, just because you've heard that's how it's done. Well, I'm here to tell you that that's NOT how it's done.
Just be normal. Be good company. And accept dates from guys you're actually interested in. Anything less is misleading.
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (7 July 2006):
 If you're doing it because you know it turns them on, you're still "easy"! (That's a terrible word!). Just stop doing what men want and giving in to what you think you should do. Just try to resist men for a while. If you like someone you can go out on dates and stuff, but just stay cool (not act aloof, that's different), put don't 'put out' so easily! If you definitely don't sleep with men on the first few dates, they'll be interetsed because they'll have respect for you. It'd be good if you had some for yourself for starters! If you sleep with them they'll either come back for more sex but not be your boyfriend or never call again. This is of course a generalisation, but as a rule it may help.
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