A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over three years and I'm not sure why he hasn't proposed yet!!! We practically live together and when we are not working we spend all of our time together. I know he really loves me and wants to marry me, I just don't know what he is waiting for! He has been telling me for the past year and a half that the proposal will come very soon, but it hasn't!!! What could possibly be the problem??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Well...
1) Financial reasoning, buying a house, paying for the wedding, whether he is ready for these things or not
2) He thinks you both are still a bit young, there is no rush, you should wait
3) He is comfortable in the situation that you are in at the moment - practically living together.
Before I did not believe that living together before marriage makes any difference. I am in a long distance relationship at the moment, and when I come over to see my boyfriend its always like a little holiday, he enjoys having me around a lot, waking up next to me in the morning, kissing me goodbye before he goes to work, I cook for him for when he comes back home for lunch, he likes taking me with him if he goes somewhere for work so that I keep him company. When I am not there he misses all those things and as people grow closer together he will soon come to realise that this is what he wants his life to be like all the time and he knows that to get me to live with him permanently we will have to get married.
I used to live with my ex boyfriend ages ago, so I have experienced the other way of things too, there just isnt enough motivation for the guy to get married as he is set in a nice routine already.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Perhaps he is very afraid of rejection and can't bring himself to ask you. Or perhaps he's just not ready for it yet and he's saying it so you don't leave him. Maybe it's because he can't afford the wedding. You need to know how he feels so you can work on the relationship - understanding him could prevent an argument. However you must emphasize that you're only asking him because you don't want to hurt him - explain that you wouldn't reject him, or that if he isn't ready then you are prepared to be patient and wait until he is. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt - he's still with you and he doesn't show any signs of cheating on you so I don't think you need to worry about losing him just because he hasn't proposed!
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