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anonymous
writes: Hello. I have been dating this guy for the past year and 2 months. Even though it has not been that long, we have been through a lot. He is the only guy that I have ever taken to meet my grandmother because I really feel like he is the one. The problem is, I am scared to actually settle down with him right now because my last serious relationship (3 years) went bad and I was so scared of that happening between us. I figured that without the title, for a while, things would be OK. Well, we both date other people and I have no problem with that but, I just found out that he got someone else pregnant. I got so mad that I yelled at him at first and all he kept doing was apologizing. He said that he does not want the girl to keep the baby but she wants to. I don't know what to do. I love him and I want to be with him but I don't know what I should do. I was pregnant for him and he was devastated when I had a miscarriage but he does not seem to have the same feeling about this baby. Would you still be with him or would you just end things now before it's too late?
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (25 June 2005):
 ok he got another chick pregnant!!!! does that mean anything to you? he cheated on you man. i would break it off with him now. once a cheater, always a freakin cheater. and he didnt bother to tell you untill later on. and how do you know this is the first time? you dont. he could of went and got like 73 other chicks pregnant. you will never kno. do what you think is right. i would talk to him about seeing if he was ever mad at you or if you are doing something wrong. just stuff like that. this may even be your fault why he cheated. you just have to make communication with him to find out. good luck~Robin~aka advice gurl
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2005): There are SO many red flags flying with your letter, here.First of all, I am sorry to hear of your miscarriage...a painful loss for any woman to endure. Your b/f obviously is not a very responsible, mature man as he got another girl pregnant. You want a man of Integrity in your life...a good test to see what type of honorable, moral person he is...try asking him "just what he's prepared to do to support and is he going to be there to raise his unborn child?" You realize, if he does do this...he will be connected to this child for a lifetime..parenthood is a incredibly, huge responsibility. I find it amazing how men will get a woman pregnant and then say "he wants nothing to do with the baby". Why don't these guys put their "brain in gear" before having sexual relationships with a woman? I think you would be best to make a fresh start with your life unless you can deal with all the future emotional drama you will endure, if you stay with this man. He will have to pay child support and have visitations with his child...if this other woman keeps the baby. If he doesn't..she'd be smart(and I don't blame her) to take legal actions against him to ensure that her child is taken care of, financially. Do you want that type of future with this man? Really think about this. Actually, my heart..my compassion goes out to this unborn child-coming into the world-with a father who does want to be a part of its life. No innocent, beautiful child deserves that. Really think hard and long. My suggestion is: move on and make a remarkable, successful future for YOU. With purpose, with determination, strength and hard work-you will learn to live your life without this man. And when you least expect it, true, lasting love wiil come into your life. Be patient, stay positive..you have a big "choice" to make...do what's best for YOU! And remember, you deserve to have the best...so go for it, girl! Take care and good luck
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reader, sara +, writes (24 June 2005):
I understand how you must be feeling and the fact that he seems to be acting differently about this baby could be one of two reasons, 1)he is scared he will be hurt again like with the miscarriage or 2)its not you having the baby,All the advice i can give you is that if you love him (which you do) can you really see yourself living with this situation? watching the love of your life be a father to someone elses baby? i know i couldnt and that is why i would end it..Apart from the jealousy you would always feel second best to this woman as she has his child.Its not fair on you,you deserve better.Good Luck
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reader, Comfort +, writes (24 June 2005):
It is clear that you are afraid of getting hurt. If it happens once you are always scared that it will happen again. There are two possible things to do in this situation,you can either talk about it and forgive him, or you can just pack it in and leave him. You might argue that chances are he will cheat on you again and most likely he will but then maybe he has learnt his lesson. I suggest you take some time apart and give him time to decide what he wants to do about this other woman and only then can you be sure that he means what he says. Good luck
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