A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well my sister is 3 years younger then me and i think she always kind of looked up to me. i had a lot of boyfriends, she didnt have many and i was generally the one that got noticed. Anyway a couple of months ago her first ever boyfriend tried it on with me (i gave him a good kick of course) and since then shes not quite acted the same towards me. her clothes are much different, if i may say somewhat slutty, and she wears heavy make up. shes always home late and on a number of occasions i have seen her with many different lads, some a lot older. i saw her get into a car with one. i keep trying to encourage her to talk to me or my mum or help her in whatever is happening with her. She always swears or talks back at my mum and storms out. everytime she looks at me i can tell she resents me. ive never seen any of these lads before but they dont look friendly at all. when i tried to take her home while she was talking to one (he must have been at least 6 years older!) she just shoved me away.shes also been mysteriosly managing to have money with her. a lot more then she should do. what shall i do? we have tried everything, she just doesnt care. how do i know she isnt been taken advantage of? or taken drugs? or god knows! i just dont want to lose my baby sister.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): There is a lack of general support in this area. Most things are targetted at teenagers rather than parents. but the first one is a national charity which provides help and support, they have an online forum, and maybe able to provide guidance to your mother about discipline matters and how to communicate with teenage girls.
http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/
http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/behaviouranddiscipline/
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Tell your mother exactly what you've seen and what changes you've noticed in your sister. You might be able to present a unified team of mother and daughter, to try to cut this rebellion off. If she's having underage sex, if you suspect money may be involved, you have to stop it, and stop it now, before she gets older, and beyond your control.
Drastic measures include contacting social services and asking them to get involved. They have lots of support services that may be able to help you out. They will also provide a threatening, authority figure to back your mother up. Your sister is underage, if she's doing bad things, the government (as a last resort) can step in and take her away. Drastic, I know, but it's the same as getting in the police to talk to your child who may be tempted into crime. Your mother must put down her foot, your sister is too young to be wearing slutty clothes and dating older men. I know it's scary, but the government will help you out.
Call a meeting with your mother and your sister. Use the threat of social services (eg: the social police) to tell her that if she dosen't change her behaviour you will call them in, and she may find herself in a lot of trouble, under government supervision, at home and at school untill she learns how to behave. Drastic I know, but I'm worried about this older guy thing, and extra money. Your mother needs to regain control, your sister is a child.
PS: It would be usefull to contat social services anyway. They may have the address of services that provide counselling for parents and adults of teenagers who are having problems.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Oh, this is hard, isn't it? I think you just keep doing what you've been doing. Be supportive of her, encourage her to talk, try to keep an eye on her as best you can. You should talk to your parents if you see her doing something really dangerous. In the meantime, I'd sit down with both parents and have a general conversation about how worried you are about her new demeanour. She may be going through a bad rebellious phase as many teenagers do, it's just compounded because she has to compete with you on some level.
She's growing up and has all kinds of things going on in her body and mind that are difficult to cope with. So remember that, and just let her know that you love her and that you'll be there for her when she needs you.
Good luck.
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