A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can’t stop worrying about what people will think of me - I have always been a people pleaser and have followed the “rules of life” to the T. I got two degreees and got a corporate jobs followe the path. Lately I have fallen in a financial hardship and the money from my corporate job is not enough - so I got a job as a waitress - I work 16 hour days and haven’t taken a day off in a month to pay my debt which will be over hopefully in a couple of months but I’m always paranoid my friends will see or my coworkers - I always fear of ppl judging me or labeling me - I noticed that two of my coworkers like to talk smack- one of them talks smack about his significant other so I worry he might judge me now that I told him I work two jobs The coworkers haven’t said anything to my face but I noticed that they gossiped about another person - one of them told me.I don’t know why I am so ashamed of working two jobs - I always feel not good enough or I should be able to make money from one jobHow Can I stop worrying about what these people might think of they run at me at the bar? I know that deep down inside both of them might not be good honest ppl if they talk smack about their significant others Any advice would help
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (11 November 2017):
 The fact of the matter is that you´re strong and smart enough to sort out your own life so if I were you, I wouldn´t feel bad at all for working two jobs. At the end of the day these people give you nothing and so their opinions should not matter at all in my opinion. You should be able to walk with your head held high regardless.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (9 November 2017):
 Worry not at all about what others say about you.
You are doing the best you can, to sort your life and your financial difficulties out and good on you for doing so!
You are a hard worker and you have your pride.
You are working two jobs to pay your debts off and not begging, nor borrowing from others, which is great.
You should be proud of yourself and not be the least bit worried about others opinions.
When you graduated numerous times, they were probably jealous then, so who cares what they or anybody else think now!
You should also look at ways of making sure that you never get yourself into any serious financial debt again, so you may benefit from seeing a "Financial Planner".
Financial Planners will charge though, so you'll have to decide whether you want to pay for their services and often they want you to keep coming back which means more and more money wasted.
If it's one or two maximum visits, that's not a huge issue, but if it's ongoingly and you're already struggling, then you may have to choose another avenue.
If you wanted to, you could even have a private chat with a close friend or relative, but only somebody who you trust fully and know won't gossip behind your back, however, i wouldn't really encourage you to discuss your personal financial business with anybody.
The easiest thing to do would be to manage it all out on your own and work out all your expenses, the incoming money vs the outgoings and stick to a budget plan and don't ever go over that budget.
This is where you have to be very disciplined, but if you are, you can and will get through this.
Also, if you use a "credit card", try not to use your credit card during this time and even when you're back on your feet, don't abuse your credit card, because credit card debts can mount up very quickly and are quite hard to pay down each month.
Often, when you're late with payments, you're paying interest upon interest and you never see your debt going down, so use a "Load and Go" card if you have to, because they're much better than a real credit card.
You deposit as much or as little as YOU WANT onto your "Load and Go" card and it works the same way as a credit card does, EXCEPT that you're in control of how much you deposit and spend and the best part, no interest for you to pay each month!
Once you've used up your full balance on your Load and Go card, then you top it up again the next time you can afford to.
I use one, even though i've worked for over 23 years and to this day, i still have no credit card debts and i only ever use a proper credit card when i travel and even then, i will stick to my budget, so i don't come home to a nasty credit card debt.
Keep doing what you're doing, do not feel ashamed or embarrassed and don't give up on your second job, because it's this second job that will get you out of debt for good, NOT THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOSSIPING.
Think about that.
Good luck and with time, let us know how you go.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (9 November 2017):
Well done you doing working two jobs to sort out your money problems...if more people were like you then the world would be a happier place to live.I know its very difficult,when you are a worrying type to tell you to stop worrying...so on this level would you consider going to a counsellor and getting some help and to be able to voice your problems.This is the world we live in..people will talk...if you are doing good or if you have problems...its a no win situation.However when you know your doing your best at all levels,and can find happiness and peace within.WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK OR SAY.After all they must be quiet bored or unhappy in their own lives to talk about other people.Also take measures that you will not have money problems in the future.In the meantime be gentle with yourself,we are all on the bumpy road of life trying to do our best.Kind regards NORA B.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 November 2017):
 1. OP you are doing GOOD in taking on an extra job to step up and take care of your financial responsibilities - NEVER be ashamed of that!
2. Get help making a budget. So you don't end up in this position again. Obviously, you are spending more than you earn? If you need BOTH a corporate job and a waitressing job. (no judgment here, just stating what looks like the facts).
3. STICK to said budget. CUT as much non-essential stuff as possible, but always leave a little for "fun".
4. Accept that people WILL judge you. It's the nature of the beast, called humanity. Doesn't mean they "judge" right as they probably don't have all the facts. (just like I don't - which is why I'm guessing a little here too).
5. DON'T sweat the little things. BE proud of yourself. And IF these people want to gossip about you... well, that just means you are more relevant then them, right? SCREW what they think. YOU CAN NOT control what people say, feel, think or do. So STOP worrying. I know, easier said than done. But really... would you quit the extra job to PLEASE these people? Do you think that would STOP anyone from gossiping? No, DO YOU. and BE proud!
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