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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I think about leaving my husband everyday. I don't know what I should do , I just don't trust him. A Few years ago he started to have impotence, and his sexual desire was gone. He is ok medically,but he is just not ever sexy with me and stays soft. Well I feel unloved and undesired. Also he is working way too much. I just can't figure him out. He is telling me , that he loves me, and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He says I'm his choice for this life. Yet, he isn't sexually interested or making some changes around his work schedule. Its a long long marriage with kids. Our kids are grown now, but needs lots of support, they are not independent, and causing trouble still. I don't know what to do, as he is holding me back , with being so solid on his love to me. He does say he loves me, yet I don't feel it. He is not talking about his feelings , and I don't know what to do in this totally limbo situation. What ,if he will tell me in a few years from now, that yes , he didn't like me? And it would be such a betrayal. So what should I base my decision on,about staying ,or leaving? He is not cheating or drinking. Its so difficult, because I just don't know what he really thinks, its almost worst than cheating and drinking. Please give some support if you can ... tHANKS
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): Perhaps there is a medical problem going on, please encourage him to get himself checked. If that's not the case, he may just be working so much that he is exhausted, or stressed. He isn't a "spring chicken" anymore, right? And more than likely the "spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" kind of thing..I'm sure he feels uncomfortable about this whole situation, but perhaps he's embarrassed to talk about it. Why don't you try to bring it up lovingly to him and get things out in the open? I think you are just very frustrated. We women like to be loved, but sometimes the guys just really "can't" do it, even when they want to. My husband is a doctor, and works 16 hour days, he's 40, and the stress level on his job is very high...I truly know where you are coming from. I know he loves me very much, but there are many times when he is just too exhausted for hanky panky...and it leaves me feeling very sad/dejected, but I know its not because he doesn't want me, he just really doesn't have the energy. Please give your husband a chance..stress plays such a big factor in a man's libido. I hope this helps you!
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