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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Whenever i have sex with my bf its always the same routine.i toss him offhe fingers mei give him head FOR ages!then he jumps on me and we have sex.And ive tried everything i can but i just cant come straight out with it, i just cantbut he needs to understand i need more foreplayand i love love love oral and he never does it to me and i really want him to and its begining to frustrate me.ive tried everything i can think of i have attempted to guide him down there, left magazines lying around with the same question on a help page that someone had written in, told him to put his tongue to use!!!!and nothing works.but i CANT just come out and say itso what the hell can i do?im at wits end!!!please help!
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 May 2008):
 What exactly is "tossing him off"?
Also, you seem to do it in the wrong order. Blowjob THEN intercourse? Not a recipe for lasting a decent amount of time in my experience.
Turn it around, let him stimulate you right before intercourse , wait until you are close to do it and it should do the trick.
You told him to put his tongue to use but can't come right out and say it? Not exactly subtle is it? What did he think you meant?
Sorry to say it but it sounds like he just don't care that he is a bad lover and you are unsatisfied. This 2008, the notion that women need/want oral isn't a secret anymore and no male in the west could possibly not know the basics.
From simple experience I am willing to bet he is not exactly the most caring/supportive partner in other areas as well.
When I was young there was the great clitoris hunt but that one seems to be over. Some of learned where it is and guys like your boyfriend just don't care.
Either work up the courage to just tell him exactly what to do or learn to life without. But really, if he is the kind of selfish guy I think he is, just dump his ass and get yourself a guy who cares about the woman he is with.
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (1 May 2008):
 This is so difficult if you find it hard to talk to him about it. As Tisha said, you need to break up the routine so it's different.
I suppose it's out of the question to suggest you tie him to the bed and tell him he's not going to get it until he has satisfied you thoroughly? Thought so. Just an idea!
All right, so that's extreme, but it makes my point. You have to find some way of "changing the game". A few men simply hate giving oral, but there aren't too many who are like that and with a bit of luck he's not one of those. Perhaps setting the scene for a bit of fantasy roleplay might well do the job - or maybe something that involves chocolate bodypaint and/or whipped cream??
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Um... Not my strong point, but...
I imagine you in a darkened room with candlelight wearing black lace panties and bra, with a strategically placed hole over each nipple and the crutch. This daredevil young lady tells me no intercourse until I dutifully service each gap in my scanty clothing with his hot juicy mouth.
Not sure if you can buy that kind of sexy underwear or if the approach would even work with your guy ... just a fantasy of mine!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Hi, I hear your frustration. I'm afraid my advice is going to be what you don't want to hear... You're just going to have to be able to talk to him about this. If you've got a good relationship and talk about other things, then sex and your needs in that area shouldn't be a no-go zone.
You've done the hint thing, you've done the guiding thing, you've asked for him to put his tongue to use.
You need to break up the routine or just talk to him...
Personally, I would try to talk with him about it when you're not in bed, when you're at home with him and both of you are calm and relaxed. Obviously, it's not meant to be a confrontation or a fight so try to get your message through to him that foreplay is very necessary for your own enjoyment. And ask him if he finds returning the oral favor to you distasteful in some way. He may not know what to do, or he may just not like it. You'll have to hear him out on this one.
I also would leave off giving him oral for a bit, not as punishment, but as a way to make you feel like you're in a bit more control than you truly feel. When you're intimate again, just let him know that what he's doing to you makes you feel good, and that you'd like to play around a bit more... 'What's the rush?' you could ask. 'Let's fool around and I've got some lovely new oil which is flavored and we could try that too...'
But again, I go back to the need for being able to just talk to him about it. It's not a confrontation, it's a discussion of likes/dislikes, wants/needs, desires... Otherwise, I'm afraid, you'll be right where you are now a year from now....
Good luck, and I expect you'll get lots of good advice from the other aunties and uncles here!
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A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (1 May 2008):
Hi
have you tried to what a porn together that show that then you could bring the subject up.
or introduce toys
intrested in your thoughts on this
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