A
female
age
41-50,
*iss Stuart
writes:Hi,I was with my boyfriend for about a year and we were constantly breaking up for a few weeks, few days etc and getting back together all the time keeping contact with each other and not seeing anyone else. I have broken up with him alot of times and really meant it at the time but changed my mind later on when he tried to get me back etc or I have called him etc. Recently we were together properly and had an argument which resulted in me splitting up with him for good. He tried getting in contact with me for a week but I was serious because I was fed up of the situation so i wouldnt speak to him on the phone etc. He came round and pleaded with me to go to dinner with him so I went but was cold and not myself and i told him that there was still no chance for us. When we got to mine I invited him in to give him a number he needed form the internet and to talk but I still told him there was no chance and he left. The next day I was thinking and decided to call him and tell him I was considering thinking about taking him back. We talked but then the phone cut out and he didnt have a mobile we werent in contact. He called me back a few hours later and i was really angry that he left it so long when we were discussing something important (he was at a birthday meal) that I told he that it was a stupid idea for me to even think about taking him back, to forget it, it was never going to happen and to do what he wanted. I was determined to not see him again after that but wondered why he hadn't called after a few days so called him. He told me that he had slept with a girl the same night after I told him to get lost and then hadn't called me cause he thought I didnt want to be with him and he wasnt going to call me again. He didnt see the girl again after the next day but I am really hurt that he did that and its so out of character for him. I know we were split up but some people say this was cheating on me... What do I do?
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female
reader, Miss Stuart +, writes (11 February 2008):
Miss Stuart is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both of you for your advice, I appreciate it a lot. I hope I can help if ever have a problem (I hope you won't) Luv T
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): I don't mean to be blunt, because in a way it seems you're the 'good guy' here, but I think you brought this on yourself..
About breaking up and getting back together within a day, I understand exactly how you feel. It's often been the case with my long term boyfriend, we'd break up, if only for a few hours, then cry and regret it and get back together. And to be honest, it breaks my heart. So I'm sure you won't be feeling the best about it. I mean, it's a hard thing to go through for anyone, but it's even harder when it feels constant.
From what you described, it seems like he was lost with what to do, but who can blame him. One minute you wanted to be together, and the next you didn't. But I suppose you never thought of when you weren't together, he might be with other girls... Just the thought of me breaking with my bf and then him sleeping so soon would hurt me so much, so I just can't imagine what you're going through honey. I'm so sorry that you must feel so rubbish inside... But you've got to remember, he wouldn't have slept with her otherwise, and you WERE determined to have it finished and done with, so surely you can understand his actions...
I know it'll be hard, and I don't even know what you should do now, apart from leave it. Try and build back up your confidence, and don't revolve every waking moment around him. Maybe in a week, ring him, and ask if you can get your stuff from his house. If you already have, then just ask what's going on between the two of you. Just say it in a kind of mutual tone, don't sound too upset, but try not to sound too normal either. Taking things day by day will be the best way to get through this, so thats what I'll advise you do. Good luck :]
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A
female
reader, babeej  +, writes (11 February 2008):
how can you blame him? you are the one who broke up with him, how can you expect him to stay faithful? if you told him that it was stupid for you to take him back, then y would you expect him to want to come back? i think you need to look at yourself in the mirror and realize how irrational your being. i actually give him props for getting out of the abusive relationship you put him through. why would you think that constantly breaking up and making up with someone is going to keep them loving you? its just a cruel mind game.
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