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female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I work with a married co-worker who flirts with me constantly. The thing is he has flirted with me for so long that I now have feelings for him.I know He has feelings for Me too. I know it's wrong. The thing is I can't quit my job. It is hard to work with someone you love without showing your feelings.I just don't know how to handle this situation.Any Ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for giving Me some advice.In my mind ,by the way He is always staring at Me ,does anything for Me,protects Me if someone offends me,gets jealous if I mention someoneI'm dating,gets silly around Me,just made Me feel that this guy had fallen for Me too.Thats why I felt that if it's real that it was'nt all bad,and whats bad about it,is that I have never had feelings like this for anyone my whole entire Life.If I didn't work with Him,it would'nt be that hard.I guess I just have to be strong.Wish Me luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Think of the other woman, his wife. THink of her feelings if she found out. Then think about your feelings if you were to replace his wife and how he would be doing the same thing he is doing with you but with someone new. You need to recognize this as a situation that you should not allow your feelings to move you between another, also consider to be fair with this guy that the behavior or flirting and such is only a way to get through the work shift.
This is not a win situation for you. Consider it only as a way to get through the day. If you have to, ask that he tone down the flirting. It sounds like your feeling low and need someone to call your own, don't allow it to happen in this way, you need to be stronger and include others feelings, such as a spouse in your feelings and dicisions.
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reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 May 2008):
You say you can't find another job, but can you move departments?
You can certainly try to avoid him and not to flirt with him. If he says anything flirty then just don't respond to it and he'll soon give up.
The best thing to do is sit the guy down and tell him that he is married and you don't feel right with the way things are between you.
Tell him to back off and work on things with his wife. Tell him you want to be his friend but you are going to end up getting hurt if things carry on like this.
He sounds like a nice guy so hopefully he should respect your feelings. If he doesn't then you know he's an idiot anyway and you can get over him that way.
Good Luck!! xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): If you took this further, three people would stand to get hurt - you, the man and his wife. Some people do just flirt but really don't get carried away. It might be better to avoid him if possible so you can forget him. Leaving the job wouldn't solve the problem anyway as it could happen somewhere else.
I hope you soon start flirting with someone available who will make you happy.
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