A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am confident and trust my boyfriend. I don't get paranoid or jealous, I don't care about him hanging out with other girls and I truly love him. However I am really good at hiding how insecure i am. A year ago I spent all my time with my current boyfriend, I abandoned my friends and convinced myself he liked me but he was using me to get his old girlfriend back and he didn't talk to me again for months, he completely cut me off. A the start of the year I began seeing a guy who wasn't interested in me, he never wanted to see me, he never texted me and he ignored me at college leaving me to chase after him and wonder what was wrong with me.I am so happy with my boyfriend but everytime we argue I get this overwhelming need to apologise make up for it because i'm so scared he'll just leave me again. I hate myself for it, I can't get the idea he's not actually interested and he has no reason to be out of me head and I don't know what to do about it because it's only a matter of time I ruin everything. How can I get rid of this feeling?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (14 June 2009):
A good therapist will help you work on your feelings of insecurity. You have to learn to love yourself and accept yourself, and once you do, confidence in your relationship choices will come naturally.Now, if I'm reading your question right, you are dating a guy who previously used you to get his girlfriend back and then ignored you. It's not surprising that you would be insecure over a guy that already dumped you once. The big question is, why go back for more of the same? Why not respect yourself and require the same respect from the people you date? Once you work out the answer to those two questions you will really have it all.
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