A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I work with a guy I really fancy but was unsure if he was interested in me so I backed off.Co-workers have been trying to set us up for the past 6 months but I know he's incredibly shy. He's always asking where I'm going out at at the weekend and makes an effort to talk to me if he sees me out, so after a night out.He added me on Facebook and he was flirting but I was still a bit stand offish then the next morning he didn't reply to my text so I left it and decided to break the ice as we were both a bit drunk and I didn't want things to be awkward at work.He read the message and didn't reply for 6/7 hours, I replied back and tried to spark up a conversation but he read the message and never replied.It's now 2/3 days, is he uninterested and should I just leave it or should I pursue him? I have a gut feeling he fancies me and is too embarrassed but I don't want to embarrass myself either.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 January 2017):
 It doesn't sound like he is interested. If he was shy then he would hide behind his phone. Flirting while drunk doesn't really stand for much. I would move on. If your co-workers have failed after 6 months, I would use that as a sign that it is not going anywhere.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2016): i think i know who you are. he has a girlfriend. he doesnt want you he wants his girlfriend. he is just being friendly because he want to be your friend....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2016): Leave it alone. He may not be interested; and allowing yourself to be pressured by co-workers to go after someone is not very bright. Co-workers have no business being match-makers. They should be minding their own business, and doing the jobs they're paid to do.
It's usually some busy-body nosy older-woman questioning some guy's sexual-orientation behind it all; and pushing some female on him to confirm her suspicions. Even if he's single and straight; he's getting enough pressure from his own mother to find a nice girl without people all in your business at work. If he's being unresponsive, maybe because you're being pushy, and you're being pushed on him.
You need to keep your romantic interests outside your work-place. Your job is not a dating-pool or hunting ground. It's where you earn your money to pay your bills.
You're making the workplace awkward for yourself, and you're annoying some co-worker who isn't really into you.
Stop! Be cordial with him, be professional, and focus on your job.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 December 2016):
 Leave it. I am not saying that it's always the male who should do the pursuing, or that every guy must be a super confident go getter. Some times it's wise or necessary to help them along,to give them a little nudge into the right direction, to show candidly that you are interested.
But you DID, and so far he let the ball drop. Now do not insist. He is probably not interested , or not as interested as you think he is ; but if instead he is... well, he will have to come up with his own way and his own words to show you HIS interest- he is a grown up, you can't become his nanny and keep spoonfeeding him the ways of the world datingwise.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (27 December 2016):
Its difficult when you fancy someone and they are slow to react to you. However no matter how shy he is ,he if wants to will get around to ask you out .So all you can do is respond to him in a friendly,warm,cheerful way,and hope for the best.It would be better if you allow him to pursue you ,that way you will not be embarrassed.The other questions would be [1[Has he a girlfriend ?][2] Or is he just looking for friends.In the meantime enjoy your life meet new friends.Kind regards.NORA B.
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