A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend were mucking about recently watching just some tv. Anyway my boyfriend had a question which I didn't know the answer to 3 minutes later he's figured it out. He has a habit of trying to look things up on his phone and then act like he's just remembered the answer. So I jokingly took his phone saying I bet I'd find that question pop up on his search bar. When I did this I noticed 4th down on recent searches was porn.I'm 21 my boyfriend is 26 he is the only man I have ever had sex with. Before we were having sex 3-4 times a day now its more 5-6 times a week. We basically live together but I have my own place I should inform I am a student however I rarely go to my parents home except for breaks in term where I'm gone a maximum of 3 weeks. If it was then I could understand maybe but when I confronted him about the porn he said he watched it a week ago which doesn't make it any better I was here and during that week he'd told me he wasn't in the mood. Its almost as if he would prefer to masturbate over porn than have sex with me.I don't understand what I've done wrong we always try new things if he ever says he would like to try something I'm open to it. I always make a high effort with my appearance. I'm told I'm attractive woman even though I struggle with the concept. I have suffered with body issues in the past but I was over that this has completed shattered me I can't stop crying and I've begun binging and purging I just keep thinking if I get to the size of the girls in the films he'll want me. When I asked him why he watched it instead of wanting intercourse with me he wouldn't give a straight answer saying that wasn't it but then saying "you could learn something" after repeating angripy at him what I had said he responded with it wasn't what he meant it was meant to be jokey. I wasn't. It didn't matter any way the seed of doubt is now firmly planted. He tried to counteract this with an accusation that I watch porn I don't I find it uncomfortable (I'm not a prude at all sexually) the saddest thing is when I do masturbate I only think of him.I can't bare to have him touch me I refuse to let him hug me or kiss me. I just don't trust him now.
View related questions:
in the mood, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 August 2013):
 OK, take a deep breath. This isn't about you -- not about your appearance, and not about your performance. Your relationship is normal. Sex 3x a day at the beginning is wonderful, but that never lasts, not for anyone. Five to six times a week is awfully close to every day, which, depending upon how long you've been together, is quite frequent. You had a healthy, thriving sex life.
So, why would he sneak off and masturbate to porn? Because he wanted to be selfish. A considerate lover will take the time to make sure each encounter is good for you. That means foreplay, taking time to work things up, and to make sure you get yours. Don't get me wrong, that's wonderful, but it does take effort. And sometimes guys just want to get off quickly and effortlessly and not worry whether anyone else got anything out of it. So a quick wank to porn. What the girl in the vid looks like isn't relevant, he's certainly not comparing her to you. He doesn't remember what she looked like, and he's not fantasizing about her.
There are thousands of threads on porn here on DC. Do yourself a favour and search them. You'll find a majority of guys (and a minority of gals) saying more or less what I have. If, however, you're determined to take this as a personal affront, you'll also find people who will support you. It's your call how you choose to deal with it. It sounds like you basically have a solid relationship, and it would be a shame to throw it away over this very minor incident.
|
