A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So heres the deal, I have been hanging out with this guy for a little over a month. When we met we were both instantly attracted. Then of course I face booked him and I saw that he was in a relationship. I called him right up and asked him about it. He replied they been broken up and he was waiting for her to take down the status (that part still doesnt make sense to me). I then asked him to and he did. His profile pic was of his ex and him (I didnt bring it up) but, after a few weeks he changed it to just him (good sign?). He has a lot of pics of the two of them and of another girl maybe the ex before his most recent girlfriend. Im not sure if thats a real issue though. I met some of his friends and he always introduces as just my name no title. Not friend not "his girl" nothing.. If we go out and I get approached my another guy he gets mad. So it shows hes jealous and might care a little. But guys think Im single because hes not real affectionate in public which is okay I dont mind that part. He is real affectionate when we are alone though.. We prolly hang out like once or twice a week but usually we will text every day. I brought up the "wheres this going" question. He said he wanted to take things slow and wants to be sure before he commits, he claims he doesnt want me to be just another girl friend.. But the thing is he wants me to be exclusive and he said he would be too. Its like he wants me but he doesnt. I dont know Im so confused! So I guess this is where my question comes in. Am I wasting my time? How long do I wait to see if hes sure? Is he just using me until he graduates college in a few months or until someone else comes along? Can I ask about his ex? If so how do I bring it up? What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): If he doesn't wanna date and he still has his ex lingering in the picture, make sure your not just the booty call if you want affection in public enforce it! If hes not willing to work the way you want him to then he's not worth your work
A
female
reader, sarahrose20  +, writes (5 September 2010):
im srry to say this but it sounds like hes a player n hes trying to hide you but dont take my word on that wat i would do is next time you meet someone new with him say hi im... his girlfriend and watch how he reacts carefully if he seems scared at all then he already has a girl
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A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (5 September 2010):
 Well, everything you said here has been analysed to the very millimetre, Its still early days, and he's told you he wants to take things slowly, and to be honest, its probably just as well, as it sounds like your willing to run full speed.
You've already started a relationship with him, with trust issues, you knew he was in a relationship when you met him, and it does seem he was lining up a 'new one' before he ended it with her, and if he were a genuine guy, and you weren't afraid of the answer, it shouldn't really be a biggie for you to ask him about his ex.
His reason for not telling people could be genuine, but I think you have to consider his behaviour in the beginning, and a month on, and stop ignoring your gut feeling, its not usually wrong.
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