A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help! It's hard for me to find male friends because of the fact that I have a boyfriend. I think this scares them away. Don't worry, my boyfriend is not threatening in anyway. It's just that once I start talking to a guy, hoping to build a friendship, I tell them about myself, including the fact that I've been in a relationship for four years...slowly but surely, they become distant. I don't get it! I've even asked my boyfriend why he thinks this is and he says that maybe they're attracted to me? I don't know, they can't all be can they? Guys, I especially need your perspective on this. Why is this happening to me? My boyfriend is my best friend but HE'S MY ONLY MALE FRIEND! I would like other male friends as he has female friends. I'm not competing with him or anything or jealous because I trust him so that's not an issue at all...it's just that when I need a male perspective sometimes I might want to ask someone else lol. What do you think could be the reason for this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): I'm in the same situation but most of the guys that don't want to be my friend are attracted to me and at the same time respects the fact that I have a man and they just don't want to put themselves in a situation to where they end up falling for a girl who has a man it's nothing personal just try to talk to guys who don't find you attractive at all lol GOOD LUCK!!!
A
female
reader, Anonny  +, writes (13 November 2008):
Will female friends not do instead?
Throughout my life I have rarely had any close "male" friends (apart from male colleagues at work) except for when I had a boyfriend & usually my boyfriend would be my confident. I have never felt I needed male friends particularly!
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A
female
reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (13 November 2008):
 Depends who you're expecting this friendship from, if those guys are out there on the lookout for something else a relationship some sex etc ( which is why most of them in your age group probably are doing out there), then don';t take it the hard way. I know what you mean, if you are friendly with a man(work colleague etc ) it is taken as flirting and many are reluctant on responding to women being just friendly. I think best way to befriend a guy/anyone is to have a strong obvious common interest, then you can ramble on about that to your hearts' content and also your friendly relationship will become a genuine friendship.Have you tried getting close to gay guys? They are the best ideal girlfriends!!
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