| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I went out with a guy for a loooong time and we broke up three and a half years ago because it wasn't working out. this was mainly because we were quite young and at uni so living in different places. we stayed in touch and i guess i've never really got over him.he went travelling recently and i literally could not stop thinking about him the whole time. i haven't seen him for almost 2 years anyway but the feeling that he was so far away from me made me miss him even more.i kind of have a feeling he might feel the same about me - that i'm his 'one', as he's joked about things like 'when he proposes to me' and 'when we get back together' in the last year.i'm seeing someone else at the moment and he's great but every guy i go out with is always in my ex's shadow.people keep telling me i should just get back with my ex because we're retarded for each other, but to be honest it never really worked. we had this crazy passionate cathy and heathcliff thing going on where we were always fighting, there were always tears, we both kissed other people, he never called, etc.he's not a bad guy at all, just possibly not the greatest boyfriend in the world and perhaps not a great match for me - we're both pretty firey. so i worry that if we did try again it would be a nightmare and i don't think i want to put myself through all that again 'just to see'.at the same time i imagine him ending up with someone else and feel like my heart might actually stop beating. he's just so funny and clever and interesting and made for me. help, i'm a mess.
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 I'm not usually a fan of rekindled relationships because the reasons you broke up in the first place are usually still there, however in your case I believe I would make an exception. I think you should get back together with him for the following reasons:
1. You were both young when you were together and a lot of those immature things that occured will possibly not be present now since you have both grown up a bit.
2. In 3 and a half years you have still not gotten over him in spite of trying to move on and being with someone else so it doesn't seem like you ever will.
3. If you get back together you will then know once and for all if you are meant to be together since it will either work and you will be happy or it will be a disaster and you will finally be able to close the chapter. There will be no more doubt and wondering this way.
Go for it and good luck to you both.
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