A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with his ex only a few days before he confessed to me and we got together. His ex got really depressed about it, and as a result, he treated her very well... A little too well in fact.Since both he and his ex belong to the same group of friends, they pushed through with their road trip and my boyfriend ended up kissing his ex to comfort her (five days after we first kissed)Okay, I forgave him for that eventually. The thing is, the next four months were absolute torture for me. He would contact his girlfriend constantly and try to make her feel better by taking her out to movies, etc. It came to a point wherein he'd watch a movie with me, then do it again with her the next day. He would talk about her non-stop and the stuff they used to do, how nice she was, etc. I felt like crap during all those four months, but I didn't end it because I was determined to make my first relationship work out.Now, back to the present. It's been more than a year and we're very happy together. He doesn't care about his ex anymore. The bad thing is: I do. Everytime I think about those first four months, I feel absolutely horrible. I haven't really gotten over it and it's been a year!What do I do? I don't doubt my boyfriend's loyalty. I just hate how I haven't gotten over this until now.
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, his ex, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 April 2008):
If you got together 3 days after he broke up with her, then it was no wonder he wasn't over her.
BUT... he stuck with you, he got over her and he's now with you.
You could have told him you didn't want to be with him till he was over her, but you stuck it out - and it worked.
You need to tell him that you need to feel special and then bask in the glow of him adoring you.
It's all ok - he's over her - you need to get over her too.
Good Luck!! XX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Talk to him and see if he can help you get over it. I know just what you went through because i went through worse. I HATE BLOODY EXS!!!!!!!!!!! with a passion. They have been the bain of my life in the past. I had worse, my bloke and his ex had a little boy(6 years) when i came along and she and their son lived 200 yards away. We could see their house and boy did he watch it, nearly drove me mad. I know what you have been through, mail me if you want, but talk to him and try and push it into the back of your mind.
take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (8 April 2008):
I feel sorry for you for what you went through. That must of been tough!!! I dont know how I would of dealt if I was in your situation, would of been horrible.
It seems to me your bf felt torn between being a bf to you and caring for his ex gf as a friend. Obviosuly when him and his ex broke up, he couldnt just stop caring, there will always be that caring factor between them. Perhaps he felt it was his duty to make her better since he broke up with her. She may of been playing on his guilt. However having said that, I dont think it was nice what he did. I dont think he was very sensitive to your feelings at all. So its not wonder all this has probably left you feeling sad and insecure?
Have you EVER told him how you felt during those 4 months? If so, what was his response? Has he said sorry and do you feel he truly means it? If you havent ever told him how you felt during those 4 months then I suggest you do. Do he know how you feel at this current moment? That you arent over it yet? Dont yell or accuse him or things such as loving her more then you or anything like that. Just say 'when you watched a movie with me, then her, it made me feel .....'. Its important to use "I statements" where you state how you ("I") feel. This way he wont get too defensive.
After you talk to him and hopefully get a sincere apology it may help you move on. best of luck.
...............................
|
