A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy back in February on a night out we talked for about twenty minutes and he added me on facebook and got in contact the next day asking me out for a drink. We went out for that drink and over the following weeks we've spent quite a lot of time together.He made valentines special by cooking a three course meal, and we've been to the cinema, for drinks and just had chilled out evening together.Things seem to be going well between us, and the other day he made a point of telling me he'd miss me (while I am at home over university holidays) and said that he wasn't kissing/or anything else with other people.I'm starting to like him quite a bit though and I've been hurt in the past. I tend to think the worst of people and although he's given me no reason to always having time or me despite his many commitments to sport/work .I'm just wondering if you think it'd be appropriate for me to ask him what's going on between us? Like are we together or is it just casual especially with him saying he isnt getting with other people... it's just thrown me off!Thank you for any help xxx
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female
reader, Ineedtoknow  +, writes (30 March 2010):
Ok, here are my two cents: don't ask him. Act like it is obvious that you are GF and BF. Any man that courts you like this for a few months is your BF in your book. Bring up the point casually, eg. if he makes an off color joke (just an example, here) say, " I can't believe something like that would come out of my boyfriend's mouth!" Like I said, if you have allowed a man into your life and agreed to enter his, then he is your boyfriend by your standads (this is the way one should think). If he backs off simply and calmly state that yes, you believe it's a relationship and that if he does not then you should part ways because your views on what makes a couple are different. No pressure, just stating the facts as you see them.
If he doesn't want to lose you, he will want to commit. If he doesn't care much, he will go. It's a win/win situation. I think a couple of months is enough time to bring this up in the way I describe. Don't whine, don't ask (it's not just his decision, you know). Be a lady that knows what she wants and what is best for her - and let me know how it turns out. :)
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