A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing this guy for a while and I thought things were going well.. I guess I just fell for him too fast. I didn't sleep with him until 7 months later because I didn't want to just be used. I really thought he was different but things started changing after that.. I later found out that he was also talking to two other girls including his ex, who he visits once in a while. I had no idea about all this until a mutual friend of ours showed me pictures. I also found out that he would talk bad about me to some people. After I confronted him about all this, He denied it and said it "was not his intention to hurt me". I was so hurt so I did my best to avoid him and cut off everything. He kept texting me for 2 months after the confrontation but I never replied. I was actually proud of myself for that because it was so hard for me to do. He eventually stopped trying to contact me. It's been 8 months since I last seen/ talked to him but I still can't get over how he hurt me. I would be fine some days and then some days I can't get him out of my head.. Like there's always something that reminds me of him. Today, I found out that he is going to ask his current gf to marry him. When I heard it, it just brought back all the painful feelings. He's happy.. And I'm stuck trying to get over everything he has done to me. I just feel stupid and I don't know what else to do to get over this. It just hurts :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2014): I like the first answer a lot. I also thought of something else. You could have blocked his texts and I am curious if you knew that or not and if you did know that why did you not block his texts. If you chose to not block his texts, I can understand that temptation but it might have added fuel to this struggle within yourself. All I can say is time is what will cure this. Stay healthy. Do what you can to distract yourself when these feelings come up. Don't get upset with yourself if feelings DO come up and don't expect feelings to not come up. Deal with them as they come. Counteract anything negative with positive. You have the power within yourself to cope with this and move on. Just remember, when you allow yourself to get upset by things, you are giving your power away. Have faith in yourself that you can move on. Remember that it is our ego that often gets in our way of healing. I am proud of you too for not responding to those texts for all that time. I KNOW from experience that it is hard to do that. Try to remind yourself of just how strong you already are.
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