A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been asked out on a date for the first time since breaking up with my ex (we were together 9 years) and really need some advice, please. I broke up with my ex a year ago, have done my crying and being angry (we broke up because I found out he was cheating on me for the second time), and have been happy being single. I haven't been looking for a new relationship, have told my friends that I'm not interested in guys at the moment, but out of the blue, I got talking to a guy who works in the same place as me over the last few months. He's lovely, we seem to have quite a lot in common, and he is gorgeous. So today he sent me a text asking me out-he wants us to go and do an outdoor maze. I am really happy about it, as I'd like to spend some time with him away from work to get to know him a little better. But I am also terrified! It's been 10 years since I've been in this kind of situation and I'm a little nervous. Also, I guess my ex-bf kinda knocked my self-confidence. I'd appreciate any advice on dating. I guess I'm thinking of going on the date and treating it as two friends meeting up-is this the right thing to do? Or do I need to be trying to give off subtle signals that I might potentially be interested in something more (if this turns out to be the case)? If so, how do I do that? Especially given that I'll be nervous? Also, I can't help thinking that there is no way he'd be interested in me. He's so handsome. I'm kinda anxious about him noticing how un-attractive I am when we spend more time together. I'm worried this will end up with me not giving him eye contact because I'm being self-conscious. And I'm not sure what to wear? I'd be so grateful for any tips on how to try and improve my self-confidence so that I can go and hang out with him and be relaxed instead of being anxious, and on what first dates are like. Thanks so much :)
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female
reader, rabbits  +, writes (14 August 2010):
well, me only been 13 doesnt help but a very close adult friend of mine has been in a simalar situation .. the best way forward is just to be yorself.he obviosuly likes you the way you are ... dont put on a brave face just let your hair down you deserve someone, pamper urself go 2 the hairdresser just do things to make ur self feel good and the nerves, he probably has thm too just remember to be yourself x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): [OP] Thanks so much for the advice already :)
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A
female
reader, xpinkxladiex +, writes (14 August 2010):
 Hi hun, I would just like to start by saying you sound lovely and genuine so please do not feel down or self concious, because I bet you are wonderful. Cheesy I know, but its true, everyone is beautiful in there own way, and if this guy has asked for just the 2 of you to spend time together, then there is a big chance he is interested in you to.
I'm sorry about your previous relationship, and I know what it's like to be hurt by someone you love, but you may have a good thing going with this new guy, so don't spend your time feeling sorry about the past, because if you ex wasn't interested in yor feelings then you shouldn't care about him. It's time to move on and enjoy yourself, because you deserve it.
On this date, just relax and act as you do when you talk around work, be friendy. It is easier to pretend your just two friends, but don't go to far that way, otherwise he may think your not interested. Your best bet is to act as yourself, talk and joke and maybe slip a couple of hints, such as; looking into his eyes, looking down and then look back, or say "this is a wonderful evening, most fun you've had in ages" just be casual but slightly flirtatious. But above all, enjoy yourself, if you are to nervous or self concious then you will not have fun, and the date would be pointless.
I hope everything goes wonderfully for you, best of luck.
Hannah x
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