A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:It's always me who rings!!I am keeping in touch with a guy I adore who is pretty down on his luck - his girlfriend has split with him temporarilly, he is out of work and hence does not have much cash!!This guy knows I love him and is happy for me to call him and arrange to meet up and even give him cash from time to time - but it is always me who does the running!!Do you think he is really interested? Or is he just trying to put me to one side and get back with his girl??I worry he may lose my number and lose touch altogether!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): What happened to good old fashoined dignity and self respect?You are "running" after him!Give him space and let him do the "chasing".
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 October 2008):
Of course he is happy for you to ring him and boost his ego by being obviously in love with you.
The guy can't get a job even though there is HUGE christmas recruitment going on.
He'll probably be happy to get with you if his girlfriend doesn't come back and let you do all the work then too.
If you want to be with a guy who needs everything handed to him on a plate then keep calling.
If you want a guy who wants to actually put effort into being with YOU personally, and not just a girl who happens to be around then find someone else.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): Maybe he won't call you because he's ashamed of not having money to take you to a nice place or he doesn't want you to think that he's calling you cause he needs money.
If you're happy calling and you believe he is when you meet up, there can be nothing wrong with that, as long as you feel that there's a mutual interest or he actually asks you to call him, sound OK. Maybe after one of your dates, tell him, it's your turn to call me, and wait to see what happens.
About giving him money, it's OK to help people, you're probably doing it gladly because you want to help and you can be actually relieving him. However, remember that you are on thin ice here. Money, can be tricky between couples, it could stop him from wanting a serious relationship with you in the future, even out of pure embarrasment. When I was a teenager I had a boyfriend who suposedly had no money because he was paying for his computer, so I paid for everything, I had to catch fim to find out that he had another girlfriend, so I couldn't help wondering if she supported him too or if he spent his money on her.
So if you give money to someone, do it out of generosity and kindness expecting nothing in return, not a thank you, not a relationship, not the moneyback. Therefore, if some of this comes, it'll be a nice surprise and if it doesn't you won't feel bad about it.
Also remember, it beter to show a man how to fish, that to give him the fish itself, so if you can and he's open to it, you could help him find a job, or find a profitable activity he can take up, just don't try to force anything on him.
Good luck over there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Kenny - will do!! - I know what its like to be broken hearted so I will lay off him for a little while - but not too long!!
P.S - He said he feels quilty taking my money so he must have a bit of a conscience!!
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (30 October 2008):
 I think i would cool it with this guy abit, maybe stop calling and just back away for a while and see what happens. I think its all too close to his split with his previous girlfriend, and i feel that by you giving him money he is taking you for granted. Its hard to say if he is interested or not, you say his girlfriend split with him temporarilly, so the likellhood is at somepoint they will get back together.
Take a back seat on this one and observe from afar, by doing it this way you are not setting yourself up for a fall if they do get back together.
All the best x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): He just broke up with his girl friend, so I wouldn't recommend going after him like that yet. be his friend. It doesn't matter who rings who, at least there is good communications going on and he says he likes it, so I don't see the problem.
Just don't get your hopes too high since he might get back to his GF. Ask him how he feels towards her and give him a shoulder to feel good on. He will open up and tell you about it! Then you can go from there!
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