A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A guy I was talking to from the army doesn't want to have anything to do with him because he can't deal with me not being sure if I would be with him and move with him to georgia...we have been talking for a month now I really do like him but he can't expect me to just say yes and move with him...I wanted to get to know him first being friends but he couldn't do that he does not want nothing to do with me because I'm not sure if I want to move with him...we met when he came back to ny for 2 weeks but we only hung out 4 times...I was really was liking him but he couldn't give it a chance..he wanted me to live in ga and just wants me to go to school out there but I'm very independant I need my own money...and he has a child already and I want one but he wants one in 5 years so it just seems like he wants everything his way... I have family and friends in ny that I love alot ...its hard starting over plus I really don't know him so I can be should I try to write to him again and say let's try again or is you think he is selfish?he didn't give me a chance to get to know him if he did I could've fell in love with him then it could've been easier to make my choice maybe a change will be good for me who knows...
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for the advice I will take into great consideration...I ended with that army guy so its nothing between us anymore
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 June 2010):
 I think he isn't for you. The whole it's all or nothing is no way to start a life together. It has to be 50/50
Being an Army Gf/F/Wife is not a walk in the park. I've been one for over 12 years now. It's certainly not for everyone. Every couple of years we move around. Have to adjust to the environment constantly, new people, new places, new challenges.
Being away from your family sucks. Mine is thousands of miles away right now, so you HAVE to be able to do everything on your own.
Then of course you have the deployments. This autumn will be my husband's 4th deployment.
I think his expectations of you just dropping EVERYTHING for him is a little on the selfish side.
Don't forget as a girlfriend/Fiance you have no "rights" as far as the military. No medical, no housing. You can NOT live on post until you marry. He will NOT get any benefits unless you are married. And I think EVERYONE needs to take marriage a little more serious then just seeing it as an way to get more money.
Taking your time getting to know your potential mate is SMART!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (23 June 2010):
 You are having so many doubts about this man, that the old adage "when in doubt, don't" applies here.
Consider: you have only known him for one month. That's hardly any time at all. I suppose he is talking about the State of Georgia in the U.S., by the way??
I think he is being rather selfish if he says he wants nothing to do with you unless you are willing to move.
I'd just let it go and not bother with him any more. He's not showing you any consideration, after all......
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (23 June 2010):
 you hit the nail right on the head-this guy is selfish with a capital "S." He's not worried about how much you'll miss your friends and family, he doesn't seem to care that you'd be more comfortable getting to know him better, and the fact that hes already decided that he wants kids in five years without real regard to what you want tells me that he just might be controlling. Your instincts are right, don't let him talk you into doing something you know isn't right for you. He's thinking only of himself when he tells you that he wants you in Georgia. You tried being friends, he apparently doesn't want that, so let him take it or leave it. You dont love this man and he's too self-absorbed to care for you. Let him be, it's his loss.
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