A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I recently got married although we had previously lived together, so not alot has changed. For the most part things have been good between us except I've noticed how much my husband is starting to argue with me, over every little thing. He'll ask me something and before I get two words out of my mouth, he jumps to conclusions and starts arguing about it before he even has all the facts. It's so strange. What's going on with him? When I mention it to him, he acts like it's all in my head or something. Is he just feeling insecure, or in need of control?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 November 2010):
Hi there. As you haven't said, is it possible that he works in a stressful job?
Perhaps you are both starting to take each other for granted.
It's also possible, that it's nothing you've done at all, but more like he doesn't have balance in his life.
People get moody and short-fused when they feel like they are going nowhere with their lives. Having a sense of no real purpose or meaning.
It could well be work/life balance issues. Doing all the things he has to do, but not enough of the things he wants to do. A sense of his life being all work and no play.
Does he have any recreational activities he does - fishing, golf? Does he have any interesting hobbies or creative pursuits?
It sounds like he is missing fun in his life. Not enough excitement.
Life can be whatever we want it to be. But first, we need to work out what it is that we want.
A very good place to start, is to look at our lives and work out all the things that we don't like. Then over time, by a process of elimination we can eliminate, change or do less often, all the things we don't like, so that eventually, they will no longer present any problems to us. Then we can start adding to our lives, the things we do like doing. But first, you have to make room for them.
Sometimes it is necessary to remove some situations from our lives e.g. working long hours, to free up some time for us to do something else instead. For instance, leaving the office at the end of the day, one hour earlier. A lot of people work many more hours than is actually required, but are not actually being paid for. So why do that? Those extra hours could be spent at home with the family, and enjoying each other's company.
There are many ways to make life more interesting. The main thing is making time for ourselves - just for us, to do whatever we want to do. Doing this every day, trying to schedule 1 hour every day, just for us to do whatever we enjoy doing.
If he could actually schedule that hour (make an appointment with himself) just to have fun in, and organise the rest of his day around it. It's easier to do this if you are self employed. However, it's not impossible to organise, even if you are not.
The biggest block of time each day, is usually between after the evening meal and bedtime. It could be anything up to 4 or 5 hours. So rather than just plastering himself in front of the television for the night, this would be a perfect time to pursue some interesting activites. Keep that in mind.
The same goes for you too. Just make time for yourself, it's so important to your spiritual health.
Some food for thought anyway. Take care and best wishes.
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