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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I need some help and please advice me what I should do, because I am lost.Well it is a long story and I don’t want to take too much of your time, but our story with my current wife began about 2 years ago, she was new in this country and I helped her settled and did whatever in my power to make her comfortable, all out of love and nothing else, have to say things were not perfect as she always had too much unrealistic expectations out me and most importantly she never could see or appreciated things I do for her. We married 6 months ago despite all my inside sence, and I thought things will get better, but how wrong I was, it got worse. We bought our dream house 4 moths ago, and we are living there now, we agreed to stay there for sometimes. She used to be closer to her work place (and I was traveling almost 3.5 hours every day), but after this move she is further away but now we are both travelling more or less the same distance. she has started to complain from the first day coming to this house about travelling, her journey is only takes 1 hour max, and she think she is doing something extraordinary travelling this far, I am doing the same distance and time everyday. She is nagging and nagging everyday to the point that now she wants us to move out from this place and move closer to her work place (meaning I have to travel twice more distance than my current journey). The problem is I have put so much energy and money into this marriage and to make her comfortable and I am broke now, I can’t afford to move out (expenses such as agents, solicitor etc), and she doesn’t understand that, she has got the money and earning much more than me, and she think she can do whatever she wants. I am in the dead lock. I told her I am going to borrow this money ( for my share) and pay for the expenses but that would be the end of this marriage , she seems ok with it. She just wants to get closer to her work place without any consideration what so ever for me and my life and my financial situation, SHE NEVER SHOWED TO CARE ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, it is all about her and her comfort.Sometimes I feel how could I trusted this person and went through with all of these commitments?, and what grantee do I have that she wouldn’t do the same thing again once we move. She seems to have her own agenda, and one thing she is good at is complaining and nagging which I am really tired of it.She is so tight with her money, and I also don’t think she understand what is the commitment of marriage and love. If she does that and move, that would be end of us. But I have to say as things are, I am still not happy. She is so demanding and she is like dictator, that sort of attitude never works with me. She think she is so superior than anyone, while she has a attitude problem which is obvious to any good observer.I am so upset, so feel let down, so feel cheated, and so feel unappreciated. I made myself a fool in front of my family and my friends to marry her and now I am realising it was a big mistake, I don’t think she will ever change. Please tell me what I should do? may be I don't want to believe after all these affort this is the wrong person for me. All I want is to be happy and have someone next to me who really cares and then I will do anything for that person 10 times more as I have done for her wiihtout any return. Thanks very much for your time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): It seems to me she has been using you for her own needs. What country is she from? You mentioned she was new in your country 2 years ago... do you think she might have taken your help in settling down in your country?I'm sorry but it does not look like she loves you... atleast as much as she would love to live closer to her office! Dump her... and don't let her convince you. If you do, she will only use you more. Don't waste your time on this one... move on... there are a lot of women who *know* what marriage and love are all about. Good luck, darlin.
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reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (4 September 2006):
 Obviously, you are unappreciated. She is obviously a taker. . . not a giver. Since you are so unhappy, you either have to put your foot down and tell her the situation has got to change, or move on with your life without her. From the way you describe her, it might be easier just to let her go her own separate way. Good luck!
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