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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: K umm this is like a really long story...but here it goes and im like so confused on what to do....K well I broke up with my boyfriend in the summer cuz I started to like this guy that I work with. He works for my family so they all know him. So then one day I went and asked him if I could talk to him after he was done work. He like rolled his eyes and took off...So then 2 days later I went up to him and apologized for coming off so strong..He said it was alright. So from then on we would smile at each other but never really talked...Then we were at a party with my family and he was invited and everyone was telling me that he was stairring at me and would always look to see if i was there.. So I was like omg really?? The he like disappeared and I went to go see where he went. He was outside and I got up the courage to talk to him. I asked him if he had a bad time and he was like No,,and then he would smile at me and then he was like so what school do you go to? I then told him and then he asked where I live and I told him. Then I asked him which school he went to and he then told me. Then I said that I was going to go to his school but I couldnt. And he was like yah. Then his mom came and he said that he would talk to me later...The we just carried on about our days..Then one day he was working outside and I was working inside and the people that I work with told me that the guy that I like is gay! I was so upset! It then turned out that they were just joking, they just assumed he was gay...Well anyways I had a headache and I went over to my grandparents house to got get some asprin and I told everyone that I would be back and so my crush was outside cutting the grass and I ran by him and then I ran back and he was outside the window talking to one of the guys that I work with. I went inside and went to the window where my crush was and he was talking to the guy that I work with and I yelled to the guy from across the room that he was gay and then he was like yah im gay with (my crush). Then I went over to the window and he was like wow you are fast and im like I know and my crush was under the window...He slowly moved to the side so I couldnt see him and then when I left I heard the guy that I work with say "yes she does". Then I waited to talk to to the guy that I work with to find out what he said to my crush...He was then like yah I told him that you like him and he was like no she doesnt you guys are just trying to tease me! I was then like omg! The guy I was talking to was like yah I told him to talk to you and he said that he couldnt cuz of what he was wearing..I was like really oh..Can you go get him and he was like he will be in tomorrow talk to him then...I was like ok...So then the next day I went up to my crush and asked him what the guy that I work with said to him and he said that the guy that I work with said that he was just making fun of my crush. I then was just like oh ok then and I walked off..Then we would see eachother sometimes but no conversation...Then the fair came...this was good in ways and others worse! Well it started out friday night..I was with my friend and he walked by me and my friend turned to me and was like omg he so checked you out! We then walked around and it got dark and I was with some of my other friends and I showed them who he was cuz I would like talk about him to them but they didnt know who he was...So then we were walking around and we would always look to see where he was...We would like always end up passing by him and all my friends were like omg he looked at you! So as the night went on I saw my brother talking to him and I walked up them and I said to my crush oh my are you ok?? He was drunk! He told me that he was fine and he then put his arm around me! I was then are you sure and he held my hand and was like yes..I then asked him if he knew that I liked him. He was like no I did not know that..I was kind of puzzled cuz I thought that people that I know told him that I liked him..Well anyways he asked me if I was going to be at work the next day (Saturday) I said yes..He said ill see you there! So I then went home..The next day I saw him and I went up and talked to him and asked him how he felt...He was like im really tired...So then I asked him if he remembered anything from last night? He was like no..I was then like oh and then he asked me if I was going to the fair again tonight and I was like yes im taking my little brother today and he was like oh..Then he was like well I guess I will see you there! I nodded and walked away..So I then decided to get drunk and go to the fair...I went with my little brother and his friend and then brought them home and got drunk then went back to the fair (without my brother and his friend)! I got to the fair and I was soo tipsy! I saw one of my friends and said omg im like so drunk and she was holding me up...Then i found some of my guy friends and they held me up untill I met up with one of my girlfriends..So I was with my friend when I see my crush and I then walk right up to him and tell him that I am drunk! He was like well ill talk to you later and his friend was like you are drunk at 4 in the afternoon? I was like yepp.My friend was like lets go! I was like no i wanna talk to (my crush). She was like he will talk to you later...So we walked around untill it was dark and I saw my crush a few times but he would ignore me...Then I sat down with my friends and I saw my crush's friend the one that he was with when I went up to him and told him that I was drunk...Well I yelled out his name and he was like who are you im like you know me I work with you ( I really do) I told him my name and he was like oh yah..(I never talked to him tho when i was working with him)..So I was like why isnt (my crush) talking to me? He was like its because you were rally drunk..I then was like can I walk with you? He was like sure! So I asked him if he could talk to my crush for me and he was like yah I will..He then went with his friends after like an hour mind you I was still drunk and still drinking! So I then was with my friend and he wantend me to go home with him and I didnt want to...So I then went with one of my other friends and he said yah ill talk to him so then finally I was with my crush and he was all tipsy and all over me...So he then asked me if I wanted to make out I agreed...I only did this because I really liked him! So then I while we were walking I was asking him if he knew who I was..He totally knew! So we made out and did other things...but we didnt do anything bad if you know what I mean..He was telling me that he has liked me for 2years and how he wanted to kiss me at that party that we were at(the one where I finally talked to him then his mom came *beginning of the story*) Well I was like I have liked you for a few weeks and then my phone rang...I had to go home so I told him that I would see him at work tomorrow and he said yes! I hugged him and left...The next day I thought that he wasnt going to show up but then he did...When I went to approach him he walked away and then I went to look for him and he showed up and he told me "we shouldnt have done that last night". I looked at him then looked away and I agreed with him. Then he said we should talk about it later...I said ok..I left and went to the last day of the fair with a frown..I saw my crush's friend the one that i was with for a while the night before..I said hi to him and I told him what happend and he said wow! Then we talked for a while about stuff and then he had to go..I then was with my friend and her boyfriend talk about akward! So I told my friend what had happened between me and my crush and she was like wow! I went to school the next day and my friend had told the whole school what had happenend..I was so outcasted! And really MAD! I was called names and all that for a week..It passed over but the names were still there...So then right after thanksgiving my crush appeared at my school! I was happy in a way because then I could see him everyday...I said hi to him and that was the last thing that I said to his face! Oh and he said him back...Very friendly..So then days went by and my all my friends would tell me that he was looking at me and checking me out n stuff and that I should go talk to him..but I was like too nervous because I thought that he would ignore me...So then weeks passed and no conversation between us at all...My friend tells me that he likes me because he told his friend and his friend told my friend..Thats how I knew but then he thought that I was the shy type wich I am so not I asked people if I was outgoing and they all agreed that I was..So he thought that I was shy and he then was going to talk to me and he never did..Instead he talked to my so called friend and now he talks to her and not me and she rubs it in my face..But then my guy friend asked my crush if he knows who my friend is and he was like no I dont know her and he then told one of my other friends that he wasnt interested in going out with me because Im called a sl*t and he likes me but he also cant talk to me because of what happened at the fair...So that setttled that he wouldnt be talking to me anytime soon...I just had so much to say to him and I just couldnt muster up the courage to talk to him so I pretty much lost out...Now my crush calls me a sl*t and says that he has a girlfriend....So now I dont know what to do slowly im not liking him but im telling my friends that I have moved on..I think im ready to...Should I?
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at work, broke up, crush, drunk, has a girlfriend, I work with, move on, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (13 January 2007):
You were right about one thing, it was a LONG story. Let me help you simplify your story, it goes something like this:Hi, I liked this guy and had a crush on him for a while, and I suspected that he liked me too, but he was shy or whatever, and never asked me out. One day at the fair I was drunk and made out with him. After that, he didn't speak to me but I heard he still liked me. Then I heard he has a girlfriend. I don't know if he likes me, and I am not sure I still like him, and I am confused. Any advise would be appreciated. Thanks. One piece of advice is for you to try and keep things simple like this. Try and focus on what is important, and simplify how you think and feel, and talk about your issues. This will help the issue to be a bit clearer in your mind, and it will help you to choose if you have a clear idea of what is important. I could simplify your story even further, to just ask the question you are asking:"I had a crush on a guy but it didn't work out and I think I am ready to move on, should I?"I can answer this question for you without even needing to hear the whole story. The answer is, there is nothing about this guy you should or shouldn't do. If you don't have a crush on him any more, you have already moved on, and that is ok. Besides, he might have a girlfriend, in which case he is not really open to being pursued at this stage anyway. It is likely that the other important question to you is, do I like this guy still or don't I? Knowing how you feel is automatic, its like knowing if you are hungry or not, you just know, but sometimes the feeling is not very clear. When that happens, especially in regards to a guy, it is because you do not know him well enough. Throughout your story, you never showed that you actually took the time to get to know him properly. If you get to know him a bit better, you would know if you like him or not. It seems as though the whole time through this story, you never really got a chance to communicate properly with him, and half the time you are trying to find out information through other people, and much of the time this information is wrong. This is often the case, and communication is one of the most important parts of having a relationship with someone. If you can't communicate properly, your relationships will not be successful. If you decide you still like this guy, and he is availble, try communicating with him better. If you like him, let him know, and ask him straight out if he likes you. I know this takes courage, but if he doesn't like you you will find out in the long run anyway, and it is always better to know. Be honest with yourself and with other people, you will learn and grow the most in the long run.Good luck.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (13 January 2007):
 it seems that you should of said things out to him in the begining that you liked him, just so things wouldnt have gotten complicated..sometimes its good to ask friends to help out but in my advice youre best doing it youreself or things can get messy and wrong messages can get sent..young teenagers can be cruel with their words as youre sl*t phrase, but i bet you half of them have done worse, which doesnt mean you should follow suit. did you tell him thats why youve been mamed because of what happened at the fair ? tell them to get lost and that they dont know anything keep youre chin high and put it all behind you nothing good will come out of that situation move forward and leave it were it belongs in the past.. thats my opinion hope it helps xx A
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