A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't stop thinking about a girl I dated over 6 months ago. I guess you could say I cheated on her, as I was seeing multiple girls at the time without her knowledge (this is normal for me. I'm typically juggling two or three girls). We never had a "we're in an exclusive relationship" talk, but she considered me her boyfriend (such is normal in Japanese culture. They tend to skip that "talking about it step" and move straight to "relationship" after your first physical encounter). She "caught" me by seeing me sitting in public with another girl. She dumped me and didn't give me a chance to explain it (good for her).Odd thing is, I really miss her. This isn't normal for me. I usually just date a woman for a bit and move on. She was by no means perfect, we had our disagreements and such. But, I dunno... I just keep thinking about her. Almost every day.We only dated for a month and a half. The sex wasn't spectacular by any means, actually she was pretty conservative. We couldn't communicate easily (English is her second language, but she could barely speak it. Japanese is my second language, I'm conversational). Also, we spent most of our time together just drinking and watching movies. Finally, she was pretty unreasonable when it came to her expectations from me (she wanted to choose my friends for me, etc).But I can't seem to get over her. Why is this? Why her? I've had so many girls in the past and since... I've considered it all: "the girl who got away" and the like (that's not the case. There have been others that 'got away' and I don't feel the same for them). I just can't seem to figure it out.What should I do? Can I forget her? Why do I find myself staying up at night seriously contemplating calling her to try (and inevitably fail at) seeing her again?And please, don't criticize me for dating multiple women at the same time. I didn't come here to be called a womanizer. I understand some people find it wrong to date around. I don't need a lecture on my dating habits. I need advice about my predicament.Thanks in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): It sounds like you are attached emotionally to her- the fact that she made requirements of you and left you when she found out you were cheating on her may have a good effect on you. But it could just be that she left you and it hurt your ego.
You can try contacting her again, but she may not give you another chance since she wants someone who is faithful and who doesn't lie to her.
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