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age
41-50,
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writes: I have to admit I am a little annoyed just now. Me and my bf booked our annual leave some time ago and it started yesterday, two weeks. He broke his leg some 6 weeks ago and has been off work since, but it worked out that he needed to go back to work yesterday, to catch up. Let me explain...He has just had a promotion, starting last week, he has gone from being a band 5 nurse to a band 6. On top of this he now has to do interviews for two days this week on thursday and friday, 9-5. So he had to go in this weekend to meet up with the other charge nurse to find out what needs to be done re the interviews. It turned out that the other charge nurse was only in at the weekend so he had to go in then. He also wanted to go back to work after being off for over 6 weeks as he feels he had a lot to catch up on. However, from where I am sitting I am feeling a little hurt that I am on my own - yesterday, today, thursday and friday because he is actually going to be working, oh yeah, and tomoroow he has to work at home reading through all the paerwork that is attached to the people he is interviewing. I pi**ed off. I dont mind spending some time on my own, but there is a part of me that feels that he has orchestrated this so he does not have to spend the whole two weeks with his gf. I siad this to him and he got annoyed and said that i was being unfair. He also said that I better get used to him working unsocial hours, as his responsibilties increase at work he will be at work more and more. Am I being unreasonable? I dont feel I am a high maintenance gf and I also dont mind spending some time on my own but I just feel that I have lost 5 days of our first week of annual leave with him. There is nothing that can be done, he does have to go in. I dont want to be joined at the hip with him but it wouldve been nice to have spent a little more time togther. The second week we are spending togther, bar one night where i am going to london with my friends. Before people start to say, use the time to hook up with your friends, it's not that easy, they are either working or busy as it is short notice. I am sitting here feeling quite annoyed but I really want to let it go as I love him and I know how important his job is to him. It's just a shame that all this has coincided with his annual leave. For the record we have been togther around 18 months and are currently trying to buy a house togther, not that that has anyhting to do with this particular issue. Your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated, but please do bear in mind that this is what is happening and it cannot be changed.
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (31 July 2011):
 hi
Losing the first five days (together) really would be upsetting.
The upside is that your lovely guy recently earnt a promotion. You must be so proud of him. And the little extra he now earns will make it easier to pay for your home togther, and pay for more holidays together, to nice places, in the future.
The leg break has messed things up and he is clearly a very responsible guy. And Nursing is a very demanding skilled important profession. His work responsibilities would have had to be covered by others and temps while he was away so no doubt his employer is very grateful that he is prepared to attend to these things now. He would have the right experience and skills-set to choose the best people for these new positions.
Your annual leave together is something you have been looking forward to, for ages. Expectations have built up.
It is a totally difficult situation. But I do not think he is using this time to cover his work responsibilities in order to annoy you.
But if you react as if you blame him and hold him solely responsible for losing the first few days of your annual leave it is likely to put a damper on this annual leave, during the time you can spend together.
Negativity and Resentment are potential passion killers.
Putting this in perspective it is wonderful that you have a responsible employed guy. A guy who is looking forward to spending some of his annual leave with you.
So until he can spend the leave with him demonstrate how well you cope with change. Show how adaptable you can be. Show your enterprising side by booking yourself into a day spa. Get a manicure and a pedicure and a facial. Relax and recharge your batteries with a couple of long relaxing beautiful smelling bathing experiences.
Get out walking to boost your mood (exercise releases happy feelings)
Then when he is available to enjoy time with his favorite person during your shared holidays he will be greeted by a relaxed, refreshed, beautiful, happy girl friend who looks good. He will appreciate how understanding you were about his pressing work responsibilities.
I do hope you enjoy a lovely vacation together.
And many more happy vacations together in the future.
Best Wishes for those good times ahead.
Abella
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