A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been single for over two years.I am now 24 years old.I have this growing fear that I may end up spending the rest of my life alone.my last relationship ended badly,my heart was broken into piece.I had a hard time getting over that.I am ok now and want to start dating again but I don't seem to meet the right guys.I am a very attractive woman,I am independent and I have a successful career.I get to have a lot of guys after me but I never like any of them.lately I have been thinking of just settling for any of the guys that come after me even if I am not attracted to them.I feel like my time is running out and I don't want to end alone.I want to get married and have kids.I need advice because lately I have been depressed because of the same issue.please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): I think you should relax...because men can smell desperation and you are still very young there are women out there having babies in their late thirties and early forties nowadays...so you still have plenty of time. Also settling for any old guy will actually worsen your problems because it will distract you from finding your mister right.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (27 July 2013):
 When I was younger, I also thought time was running out and got married to a man who loved me more than I loved him. I thought that I would grow to love him eventually. I was so wrong! We got divorced, and I felt relieved to have him out of my life. The truth was that I could not stand him. We had nothing in common and there was no friendship between us. I think that friendship is key to a lasting marriage. That special rapport, that emotional connection is very important. That marriage was the biggest mistake of my life and it was costly.
I've survived many failed relationships. Some good, some mediocre, some really bad. Only one of them was amazing, but sadly it did not last. When I look back on my life, I would say that I spent most of it alone, and it's not so bad. I do get lonely sometimes, but I look at my friends who are still lonely even though they are married. The feeling of loneliness has nothing to do with your marital status.
If you are depressed then you need to analyse your fears. What exactly are you afraid of? If you are afraid of ending up being alone, what is it about being alone that makes you fearful? Really dig deep and get to the heart of the issue.
If and when you decide to get married, do it because you are in love with him, and your life is sweeter with him in it. Do it because he is your best friend and you are excited to share a life with him.
Don't make my mistake and marry someone because you think time is running out. That might be your biggest regret in life.
Throw yourself into the dating scene again. Open yourself up to possibilities. Give a guy at least 3 dates to see if the chemistry is there. But most importantly have fun. Don't stress about the time you have left. Just experience life, get to know yourself a little better and have fun doing it. Don't sell out for what you think will be a safe and secure existence. Challenge yourself to live life to the fullest. Travel, explore your hobbies, meet new and interesting people, live, experience and enjoy the ride.
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