A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my bf and i have been together for a little over a month now and whenever we partake in sexual activites it takes him 45mins or longer to ejaculate and orgasm. my problem is that i'm usaully done after 20 mins. i can turn him on just fine, he can never keep it down in fact but when ever he does ejactulate it's after he's been giving himself a hand job after we've had sex and i've blown him several times for about 15 mins a piece after and 45mins of forplay. what can i do to make him blow his load faster and sooner? P.S. When he ejacualtes it ends up being like an 1/8 of a cup is that normal? cause it's like a crazy weird amount. -Out of Ideas
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 June 2012):
 As long as doing handjobs work for him why put pressure on him to come faster? A man can still enjoy sex without an orgasm, same as with women. Do YOU come every single time you have sex? No? I sure don't. And I'm fine with it, and I've never had a boyfriend complain about it or tell me I need to hurry up. So, this isn't really an issue. You're just not used to it. Don't make him "coming" your goal. He gets pleasure from sex, he doesn't need to come every single time. Just because a guy normally does come doesn't men they absolutely have to each and every single time you have sex. Stop it when you are done, and every once in a while bring him to an orgasm, but don't turn it into a chore, and don't think that he HAS to come.
I know it feels weird when you're used to guys coming easily and sort of "finish" off the sexual act with a big bang. But you can stop having sex once you feel done without his orgasm signing you out. It's just a matter of getting into a new routine.
I've had boyfriends who last so long I need to stop before they get there. It does feel odd and unusual. But you get used to it.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 There could be various reasons, but probably the most likely is he's become desensitised due to masturbation to porn. The combination of endless novel images plus a very hard grip while masturbating means conventional sex won't be providing enough stimulation. There's more details and accounts here:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/any-suggestions-for-healing-delayed-ejaculation
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): This is going to seem like a provocative question, but does he masturbate a lot otherwise? Sometimes if a person maturbates a lot, they can only get off with their own hand. But, I do think it depends on the individual in terms of how long it takes and how much he ejaculates. I wouldn't worry about that. Maybe you should ask if this is normal for him and ask him what you could do to break him off faster? Maybe he will have an idea.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 Hi,
There are some women in this world who would love a man to last for 45 mins. But just like women are different, men are different. Is it painful? Because I am not sure why you want to make him climax faster.
Why does this bother you so much? Everyone climaxes in a different way or gets to that point in a different way. It doesn't mean that you are not satisfying him, I am sure he enjoys sex with you, but just needs to climax a different way.
Ever thought of asking him if he's always been like that? Learn him sexually, don't judge him on it....this is what a relationship is..communication and learning each other.
Good Luck
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