A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is going to sound a bit bizarre if you can't relate to it, but I can't help it. I posted something similar, but perhaps I didn't word it very well, and it didn't come out the way I meant it to. There are people who are transgender, who are born the "wrong" gender... is it unreasonable to suppose that some people are born the wrong ethnicity? I was born and raised in the USA, but I've always wished and wished that I could be part of the latin world. I have mixed European descent... British, Spanish, and many other things. I've always identified with latin culture (Mexican, Spanish, Central America)even before I knew I had Spanish heritage.I've never felt accepted or a sense of belonging as an American, and I fell in love with latin culture at a young age. I always dreamed of learning how to speak perfect Spanish and live in a latin country, and I've done those things. When I was abroad, I felt a sense of belonging and acceptance for the first time. There's nothing wrong with the other countries, but I wish I had a link or connection with my Spanish heritage. People see me as an Anglo (nothing wrong with being an Anglo, I just dont identify with the culture) and my Spanish heritage means so much to me.I was raised in a strict Southern Baptist church... and there's nothing wrong with being Baptist, but I just didn't feel like it was for me. I always wished I were Roman Catholic, because most latinos are (there are increasing numbers of protestants and other christian denominations in Latin America, but they're still predominantly Catholic). That's a stupid reason to wish I were a different religion, but I can't help it.I wish there were some way I could change my ethnicity, to become completely latin, but there's not. I don't mean to put down other nationalities, but I've never been able to identify with American culture. I wish I could be a part of that world because my heart is there. It just makes me feel sad that I don't seem to belong anywhere. The only time I've ever felt like I could be myself and where I felt understood was when I studied abroad... but I'll always be looked upon as a foreigner there.I'm not sure why I was born different, or born with an affinity for a foreign culture. I want badly to connect with my Spanish heritage in some way... and I wonder what would cause someone to be born the "wrong" ethnic group or nationality. I always just knew in my heart that something wasn't right and that I didn't belong. I just wish I knew why. How can I have some sort of link or connection to my Spanish heritage?Other people have ancestors from elsewhere, but they don't seem to long for a connection to something in their background. What I really would like to know is, what do you do if you just have a feeling that you were born the wrong ethnicity? How can I ever feel like I belong somewhere, when I have feelings like this? I can take an honest answer, but I would appreciate not hearing mean answers... I shouldn't be judged, because I can't help the way I feel. A lot of people say that my problem is trivial, but they don't understand! It sucks to feel like an outsider wherever you go, and to feel like you don't truly belong anywhere. It sucks so much when your heart lies in a world that you can never be a part of.
View related questions:
christian, fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 You're a grown up girl in your 30s so the simple answer is go to Expedia and buy a ticket. You could be in Buenos Aires this weekend. As an American citizen you don't need a visa for up to 90 days. Just go there and see what comes ...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): you could try changing your last name. i've known quite a few 'martinez' people and such who are 'white'... no one's going to think twice about it because you're not the only focus of their attention, and even if you are for a minute or two does it matter in the long run, and if so, can you answer why? honestly, as possible as is with yourself, why does it matter so very much to you? i think you might have some low self-esteem problems, my friend.to be honest, from reading this and the other link the post below, it looks like you might need some psychological counseling, because your problem is that you feel like an outcast and are unhapppy, not that you identify with a certain culture. alot of people identify with another culture aside from their own given one, but they don't let it rule their sense of satisfaction--its how you let it effect you and use this sense of misplaced identity as an excuse to feel 'special' and not included anywhere---that's the real problem. i mean, really? anywhere? don't you think that's a bit delusional and fatalistic? i've traveled. i've seen how people can be the same almost everywhere, regardless of culture...we're all the same freaking type of animal... in all respect, i must say that you don't seem to handle your feelings in this matter in a healthy way. i really do think you need professional help if you're letting it get to you this much...seriously...i know i would, for the sake of my own sanity and to regain a sense of satisfaction with getting to be alive if only this one time around, on earth.i hope you can figure yourself out and learn to be happy, no matter what circumstances you live with...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): You worded it in more of an insulting manner.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-like-i-have-the-heart-and.html
I'll warn you, we have the same aunts and uncles here every day and night. And SOME of them (lol) have an enormous petpeeve for OPs posting the same question.
I didn't post it to repeat the question, I posted it again to clarify some things.
I didn't post it again just to get different answers, I feel that people misunderstood me.
I didn't mean to insult anyone, but I came here for help and I feel that there are people who would help me, but I want them to understand what I'm trying to say.
Yes, I have noticed that some people do have a pet peeve with people posting the same question, but I felt I should clarify, and I'm free to do that. If it bothers those other posters, then they don't have to answer my question. It's not hurting them!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): You worded it in more of an insulting manner.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-like-i-have-the-heart-and.html
I'll warn you, we have the same aunts and uncles here every day and night. And SOME of them (lol) have an enormous petpeeve for OPs posting the same question.
~SY.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): sweety i am half asian and the other part is polish irish and dutch. i look asian, but when i go to asian supermarkets people know im born here. i speak 5 languages but not my own.
it is hard to belong when none of either side accepts u,my dad was born in HK my mom born here in canada. i chose to call my self asian, i never tell people im half. because i believe whichever u are the most of, thats ur heritage.
believe in urselef, and it never matters what others think. its what u choose to accept as ur heritage and embrace it entirely. if ur happy accepting ur latina heritage, then do so, any questions pm me sweety.
...............................
|
