A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey! I had something really odd happen recently, and would like some opinions on it. Basically, I woke up about a week ago to a text from a guy saying he was responding to a message I sent him on a dating site. I was very confused, because I haven't used a dating site in years. I told him this, and asked him how he got my phone number. He said I gave it to him. I once again told him I don't have an account on a dating site, and also that I'm happily married (which I am). He started to become angry with me, thinking I was playing mind games with him. I told him someone must have made a fake profile under my name, and was talking to people pretending to be me. He calmed down a bit, but informed me that whoever it was had told him I was NOT happily married and also talked about my best friend a lot. I asked him what dating site it was and when he told me, I thought "interesting choice". I had used that dating site in the past, so out of all the sites the person could have picked, they picked the one I actually had used before. I told him I was sorry for whoever it was that wasted his time. And that was that. Throughout the rest of the day, I got more texts and phone calls from different guys from the dating site, and they all acted confused at first when I told them it wasn't me. Needless to say, it was quite irritating. Anyway, what I want to know is, why would someone do this? Why would somebody create a profile pretending to be me, using my photos, and giving out my phone number to random strangers? And why would they go around telling people I'm unhappy in my marriage when they have to know otherwise? Obviously, it's somebody who knows me since they know my number and know who my best friend is. The thing is, I haven't done anything to make anybody mad, but obviously somebody has to be mad at me to do this, right? And I know they used my photos from facebook, because I asked one of the guys who text-ed me to describe what the photos on the profile looked like. When I asked him to go back to the profile to get other information, he said it had already been deleted. Then to top things off, a few days ago I got a call at around 3 in the morning from a restricted number. I was still up, so I answered. It was a guy's voice, and he asked me mockingly if I had been on any dating sites recently. He then laughed before I had a chance to say anything, so I assumed it was the person who had made the profile now calling me up to make fun of me. I told him to get a life, and hung up on him. I can't believe someone would do all this, especially since I am a person who is nice to everybody. Are there any other reasons besides being mad at me that somebody would do this? I've ruled out the possibility of it being a jealous ex or anything, because the guy I dated before my husband and I broke up over 3 years ago, and he hasn't bothered me in all this time. And the guys I dated before him were not serious relationships, so they would have long since forgotten about me. I also worry what else this guy might try to pull since I don't even know who he is, how can I stop him from doing anything else?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, facebook, jealous, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): If they know a lot about your best friend, i would say she may have something to do with it.
Does your best friend like your husband, or could she have some reason to try to ruin your marriage?
A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 This is a police matter. At the very least it counts as Malicious Communication and possibly worse.
Inform the police and, as "Jeni" suggested, the dating site that you were supposedly on - they will have records.
Also, it is quite likely that the number that was restricted to you will be on record with the phone company and available to you and/or the police upon official request.
It is unacceptable, and cowardly, to hide behind the apparent anonymity of the Internet to harass others.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): As the profile has been removed just hope it was a one off prank If something else occurs in future to make you concerned then contact the Police.
Keep all online personal data hidden.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Contact the dating website and tell them to take it down. If they won't, I would contact the local police and find out what you can do. The webhost should be able to pull the ISP of the person who created the profile. Honestly, I see nothing harmless in this, it's a kind of Identity theft if you ask me.
Unfortunately you will most likely need to change your number.
Also, if you talk to the police I would bring up that you are worried this is a stalker/harassment. The guy who called at 3 am from a restricted number, is only restricted to YOU. The police CAN get that number.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): It doesnt sound particularly malicious more annoying when your happily married and minding your own business. Your husband won't have been pleased no doubt
Somebodys idea of a joke,yes. If you cant think of anybody you have upset, then think of somebody close who would prank you like this.
The photos and phone number are personal as are your friendships Just listen to others as they probably won't be able to resist bragging or be curious to see if it worked.
You could take a legal stance but I would wait to see if they 'come out' or do something else first.Have your Facebook on limited acces as possible for now too.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Why would someone do this? Because they are bored and have nothing better to do. However, impersonating another person is illegal. It's just that people who are bored, and have access to a computer, don't really think too much about that. I suggest you consider contacting the police to say you have been impersonated online, someone is handing out your phone number. I would also contact that dating site and send them a letter describing the situation. The police could also get the IP of whomever chose to impersonate you.
It all depends on how far you are interested in taking this, and it might cost you money if you want to go all the way.
Someone doesn't have to be mad at you, just bored, with nothing better to do, and thinking it is amusing. They have to be childish as a person.. but not mad or angry. Just childish.
My bet? This guy is probably a friend of a friend of yours. Or a friend of your brother or sister etc. Because you're just focusing on who would have a reason to do this to you, but what you should be looking at is who would be childish enough to do this.. and without reason to. So who do you know who are immature?
Since they have your phone number, and/or pictures too, they do know you from somewhere. They know you are married. They also know of your friends (since a best friend has been mentioned). And who knows this stuff better than your very own friends or family?
My little brothers friend played a trick on me like this once. And me and a friend of mine did it to my brother too. So, look to your family first and foremost.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): Sometimes people dot things on the internet just to get a reaction.
I wouldn't like to hazard a guess as to who it is because it could be just anyone.
Take your number,email or any other personal info off of Facebook or any other social network site you may have.
Make your profile & photos viewable to friends ONLY!
Take down things like date of birth (I never show the year of my birth any where online.)
Also contact the admin at what ever dating site "you" were supposedly on explaining your situation they'll un-doubtingly have protacal for things like this.
And change you number so people from this site can't contact you.
...............................
|
